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November 18, 2005

An Open Letter to Al Ford (SEC Official)

From: Dawgnoxious
To: Al Ford
CC: Bobby Gaston
RE: GT vs. UGA 1999

Dear Al,

I bet you think I've forgotten. I haven't. You keep a low profile these days, but so does Joey Buttfuaco, and we don't think any more highly of him for it. No Al, the reason I'm writing is to warn you as a matter of courtesy. The worm has turned. Karma is not to be taunted and mocked. You know what you did.

Most days I'm OK with it. I try not to think about it. But, if I were sitting on the front pew at a funeral and you tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Jasper fumbled," I would fight you with the ferocity of Genghis Khan. Why? Because what you did was WRONG.

You KNOW Jasper was down, but you LIED. It offended all that is good and decent in the world. If you crossed the street in front of my momma, I'd make her turn her head because decent folk ought not be made to contemplate you. And, simply put, karma will not let your perpetration stand. How long until karma finds you, I do not know. But find you it will.

It was a delayed and bittersweet victory to know that Georgia Tech had to vacate the 1999 win against Georgia. The media guide in my brain had long since marked the victory with an asterisk. It was tainted as surely as Colorado's 5-down victory over Nebraska in 1990 (which coincidentally is tied to Tech's mythical national championship). Karma has finally delivered the victory to the Dawgs that you tried to steal, but I suspect that karma is just getting started with you.

Which brings us full circle to this letter. I don't know what karma has in store for you, but if karma is taking suggestions from me, it would involve syphilitic blindness and a chance to offend the Pope (Leonard, not Benedict). One can only hope that the sleazy, malevolent little troll Bobby Gaston, who was complicit in your crime against honor and decency, will suffer a similar fate.

Again, karma works well on its own, but my unsolicited suggestion would be a flesh-eating virus. Karma knows Bobby Gaston is a Techster. And karma knows you are a Gator. And karma knows you used your positions to thwart goodness for the sake of evil. Karma knows. And so do I.

It may be too late to sell your worldly possessions and walk the earth like Kane from Kung Fu trying to right wrongs in an attempt to stay one step ahead of karma, but it couldn't hurt to try.




Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

Really interesting final quote in the story you linked to . . .

"I will take this win any way I can get it," Tech cornerback Travares Tillman said.

Boy, if that isn't an ironic quote in light of yesterday's revelations, I don't know what is.

Anonymous said...

Colorado's 5th down miracle was against Missouri, not Nebraska. If you are gonna rant, know the facts. As a Tiger, I'm still pissed about that game.

Anonymous said...

Missouri had a football team? When did that happen? Better yet, when did they get rid of it?

Anonymous said...

Wow, I googled Al's name to see what else he screwed up. It must feel good to make colossal mistakes and still have a job.

Al can now add the 2006 Gators to his list of cheated teams. Let's hope he's not officiating when we play next week. Who knows what he can do to that game!

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