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April 24, 2006

Four Horsemen and a Jackass: Jimmy Clausen Commits

I know what you're wondering. From what modest stage did Jimmy Clausen announce his college choice? From what understated venue did he choose to let the world know of his recruiting preference for Notre Dame. was held at the College Football Hall of Fame. I kid you not. How did I miss that part of the story over the weekend? This little 'tard who is a decendent from the master race of excuse making one armed choke machines has the gonads to hold his press conference announcing his commitment at the College Football Hall of Fame?

USC fans will end up needing these.

Wow. That is rich. Dennis Dodd shows remarkable restraint in his column about the signing avoiding using the phrase "Can you friggin believe this?" A level of restraint that I'm clearly not blessed with.

I was literally praying that this kid would end up at UT where he could defend his brothers' winless streaks against UGA which now stands at FIVE. Georgia went 5-0 vs. the Clausen Dynasty after losing nine games in 12 years to the Vols.

The kicker....Lil' Jimmy announced that his goals are to win 4 National Championships for the Domers.

Hopefully, the hype is based on the genetics

I also got a kick out of the part of the story where he talked about how much time he spends in the weight room. Does this pic look like he's got tickets to the gun show?

Fear the garden snakes

Anyway. I'm all for over the top recruiting, but the College Football Hall of Fame is more than a bit of a reach. I can't wait til JimmyLash kicks in among the Notre Dame faithful.




Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

little 'tard who is a decendent from the master race of excuse making one armed choke machines

I consider myself a connoisseur of the creative multi-part insult, and sir, that is one of the finest (and most cuttingly accurate) I've ever seen. Kudos.

I know it's probably not the Christian thing to pre-emptively hate a guy just for whom he shares his last name with, but this cat shows every indication of being cut from the same douchebag cloth as his brothers. You'd think that after having gone undrafted and then being reduced to limpdicking around as a grad assistant in lowly Starkville, Casey would've learned some valuable lessons in humility he could've passed on to little bro . . . but apparently not.

Adam said...

Better Jimmy Clausen quote for that pic:

"You can be my wingman anytime."

Anonymous said...

Doug nailed the mark. Paul that was absolutely beautiful. I loved every last word.

Anonymous said...

Not bad yourself,Doug....Maybe not brilliant like Paul's,but then you were just commenting on his.Certainly no less caustic,anyhow.
Anytime there is a verbal bashing of the Clausen dy-nasty,I'm ready to drop whatever I'm doing to listen.

Anonymous said...

I am thrilled, thrilled I say, that JC picked Notre Dame as his school. I was starting to worry that ND was going to get its act together again and be a threat. This guy's teammates are just going to LOVE him...

Anonymous said...

I undersatnd it all now, the family is trying to save face. With Rick and Casey failing miserably, it's all in the hands of baby Clausen. Too bad all their hopes and dreams are in the hands of "Someones" future Alter Boy.

Anonymous said...

"Fear the garden snakes"

That's probably the first time in a month I've laughed out loud at something in print. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Don't get your hopes up. JC may not make it as a starter at ND. The Irish did in fact pull in two excellent QB's this year who would challenge JC for the job. As for the 'tude, I guarantee that Weis and his ND teammates will do JC a huge favor by getting him sorted out. There's no way that JC, starter or not, will graduate from ND with the same pose. One thing that is almost guaranteed--he will graduate, which in the end, no matter how well or badly he does, is not a bad thing--especially from the viewpoint of the SEC.

T-TownDawg said...

Did you know that Jimmy C. didn't play competitive football until the age of 13. He spent the first half of his football career with a helmet and a personal trainer. Whatta Douche!!!

I hate ND, and he is ND now, so I hate him and the whole Clausen clan. Hope for Weis 's sake he lives up to the hype! I like Weis, but he screwed the pooch on this one. JC comes with baggage, two failure older brothers, and an entourage. You can tell JC already has an inflated sense of self-importance by the way he already promised ND 4 MNCs and holding up his three state championship rings at the Press Conference. Not to mention the stretch Hummer (or whatever) he got out of before making his announcement. I hope he falls flat on his face at ND.

Shout out to Tom Lemming for orchestrating this farce. Congrats and all of us NCAA football fans hope you haven't spent that kickback, yet. Didn't it have a performance clause?!?

Anonymous said... amateur reporters might want to do your homework before posting misinformed facts. The Clausen extravaganza was in an outdoor tent just outside the famous tunnel at ND FB hall of fame is in downtown So. Bend...5 miles away. I was there for the spring game and saw the conference. JC was there with about 30 other recruits as well as the press...all were treated like kings...not just JC...part of the real, long term ND football culture not the bandwagon variety that has emerged in the west.

Anonymous said...

Those comments were typical of all you slack jawed booger eatin morons in Georgia. I hope ND gets to play little pooches down there soon. Clausen or whoever plays QB for ND will have a field day!

Unknown said...

Scoots Poop - maybe you should open your eyes and:

1. Read the report that shows it was held inside the College Football Hall of Fame

2. Watch the Video available from that shows the press conference being held inside the Hall of Fame.

BTW -- Boogers are for flicking. Not eating. You're thinking of Gator fans.


Brady_Quinn10 said...

Wow u guys don't know anything about college football. Why wouldn't he say he plans to win 4 national titles. And for announcing his commitment at the college football hall of fame being cocky, the hall of fame is in south bend, down the roud from Notre Dame's campus. You rip on how his brothers played and weren't drafted, hmmm i can't find Mr. Greene playing for any NFL teams, and D.J. (sit on the bench) Shockly a 7th rounder, thats awsome.

PS. Brady Quinn owns the gun show

Unknown said...

Greene is the #3 QB on the Seahawks.


Anonymous said...

You Georgia dogs are just jealous that ND is getting the best high school quarterback in the country, which will attract other top recruits, and with Charlie at the helm,will again win national championships. You know that that is likely to happen, which is why you are so upset.

Anonymous said...

If JC was at the UM - ND game today maybe he is rethinking his commitment. It's pretty hard to win 4 championship from your back as an excellent QB found out today. Or possibly he may get some serious humble pie handed to him next year by someone.


Anonymous said...

Clausen has clearly bought into the media hype. He already seems to think (without so much as setting foot on a practice field at ND) that he is good enough to lead the Irish to the National Championship. In my opinion, he will be lucky to serve as Evan Sharpley's back-up next season. Clausen must learn some humility if he is to survive at ND. There already some QBs in front of him who are certainly bigger and stronger than he is. As far as his remarks about spending so much time in the weight room, it seems unlikely, unless he was in charge of picking up towels and cleaning the equipment. His arms look like twigs in the photo. If Clausen's time to play ever comes, I wish him all the luck in the world. But I hope, as a life-long ND fan, that Charlie Weis has the insight devote his time to develop Evan Sharpley to assume the starting QB position.



Anonymous said...

Stop holding jimmy accountable because of his brothers lack of championships.
None of jimmys brothers were ever compared to john elway..none of clausens brothers were rated the top recruit in the nation.
if i recall michael jordan had a few brothers that played college ball. and they didnt win squa-dush..

Clausen is the lebron james of college footbal. just deal with it and stop your whining. the number 1 recruit in the land chose ND. that is the bottom line here

Anonymous said...

Clausen is the biggest bitch in the west. people also have to see that he plays for a division 10 team in california, so therefore the teams that they play, especially in playoffs are pathetic teams that consist of a bunch of poor country boys that go to shitty schools. I watched his most recent playoff game against Morro Bay, CA, and he get the shit kicked out of him by getting hit once! not only that, he is afraid to take a hit, and after getting touched by a DE, he punched him in the earhole. i hope his future goes down the shitter.

Anonymous said...

Two Words!! Kentucky and Vandy!!!


Anonymous said...

Clausen has played some of the top teams in the country and came out on top. A few of the games were even on ESPN. Granted, his team is stacked, and there are 9 or 10 D1 recruits surrounding him.

Im a lifelong ND fan, and im excited to see some new faces in the program. Quinn was good, but never won the big game. Its time someone else got a shot. Should be an interesting race for starting QB next year between Clausen and Sharpley. Cant wait.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Clausen is the biggest homo ever. Has anyone else seen that picture of him with his hand out and that stupid grin on his face? I wish someone would have stolen his rings.

Anonymous said...

newman showed JC what a real defence can do and he threw 3 interceptions. If he can't stand up to a good high school defence he'll get screwed at ND

Anonymous said...

I'm still not sure if Jimmy will end up starting next season or not because ND has an awesome freshman quarterback. (Demetrius Jones)

And for the dumbass that posted this ... you should really get your head out of your ass and open your eyes because Jimmy Clausen is an excellent quarterback! I hope that he ends up proving all of you wrong that don't believe in him!

Go Irish!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like some of you boys have really been a quarterback and played some real football in your time. Or probably not. Probably just carried the Gatorade bottles and sat on the bench practicing how to snap your helmet just in case the coach called you in at the last 2 minutes when you were winning 50-0. Haha. The kid will have a chance, just like anyone does here at Notre Dame. And when Charlie puts together a team that does something... you will all be just as pissed as you are now. I like Brady but he could never deliver. He had some good games against some tough teams but in the end he was just a choker but then again he didn't really have an offensive line either. You can't put the whole game on the quarterback and the coach, there is a no Charlie and Brady in Team. Charlie didn't recruit Brady and if we all remember correctly Charlie was a NFL Offensive Coordinator so I am pretty sure he has put alot of thought and time into putting Jimmy on a team like Notre Dame. It doesn't matter if Jimmy comes out and chokes a few times, we will stand behind him because he wears the jersey of our Irish. We trust Charlie and know that he wouldn't screw us... but then again he does have a 10 year contract and the buy out would be tremendous, so we'll see.

Unknown said...


Yeah, you're sure standing behind your guys coming on here and calling them "Chokers".

Get serious. The Clausens are all cut from the same cloth. And that cloth is a douche bag.

JCRbama said...

First things first, Jimmy Clausen could be the biggest douche of all the Clausens and that is really saying something!

Second thing, Notre Dame fans should have absolutely nothing to say about the quality of the SEC. I belive that someone mentioned that UGA lost to Kentucky and Vandy, yes the SEC is a conference that even the lower tier teams can beat you if your team is not ready to play. We don't have the the overwhelimg task of playing Army and Air Force every year. Oh yea, by the way how many ranked teams did ND beat this year, that would be none.

Third - I think Notre Dame has proven beyond any doubt that it is an absolute joke that they keep getting invited to the BCS bowls, I mean how may times can you see your team get beaten by 30+ points and give up over 600 yards of offense and still think you belong in that game. Domers like to talk about how they are ready to win a championship, maybe they ought to start by winning something more on their level of play, like the Liberty Bowl or maybe the International Bowl.

Last, I can't belive that a Notre dame fan actually claimed that UGA fans are jealous that they got the #1 QB prospect in the country. Obviusly that jackass has never hear of Matt Stafford, you know the #1 QB prospect in the country from last years recruiting class that plays for none other than UGA. Unbefrickenleivable.

I'm glad claussen went to ND it will be fun to watch another Claussen brother choke in the big games and some small ones too!

Roll Tide! Sorry I know this is a UGA blog but, I gotta rep the old Alma Mater!

Anonymous said...

You people are frigging idiots.

You know who is going to win another national championship next year. It isn't going to be Georgia or Notre Dame!

It is going to be Florida!

That's right Georgia fans, FLORIDA!

Your coach couldn't hold a candle to Urban. Look what Florida did to Ohio State! You guys were lucky you won your bowl game! Pleasee!

As for Clausen, I could care less. It doesn't matter if he goes to TN or ND or SC. Florida won with 2 quarterbacks platooning and a defense to boot.

You win titles with speed and defense, not just with a quarterback alone.

Georgia, if you want to really win some games, try playing some real D!

Better yet, get out of the SEC and we will trade you guys for Boise State. They sound like an entertaining bunch and they won what was it 13 games last year!

Go Gators!!

Anonymous said...

Hi. I went to high school with Jimmy, and I just want to say that this is probably the most ridiculous blog I have ever read. Jimmy is truly a nice guy, and I don't care what kind of coverage the media has pushed onto him, he is still a humble kid. How can you make such harsh judgments about a person you have obviously never met before?

Whoever you are, you seem like you have a serious cruel streak, and you should be ashamed to have posted such harsh statements about a kid who is only just out of high school. Shame on you.

Oh, and to the rest of you: learn how to spell please. And don't make judgments about people you don't know. It's pathetic that you have nothing better to do with your time than bash on some high school senior. Seriously, get a life. And fuck you.

Anonymous said...

You guys are just talking a bunch of crap. First, Oaks played plenty of top teams in California so don't pull that card. Jimmy & Marc dominated St. Bonaventure. I'm sure you saw it on Fox Sports. Not to mention our football program has 11 boys going to D1 football programs so spare me on the fact that we didn't have a legitimate program. As for the limo, It might be a big deal for you guys out in the midwest but in Westlake Village, CA it isn't a big deal. Oaks Christian educates Wayne Gretzky's and Will Smith's children so a hummer limo isn't going to be a big deal in our neck of the woods.You guys should stop bashing him and let his playing speak for him. You guys keep blamming him for the media hype, when he was primed for this before he entered high school. Leave him alone & the the boy play some football.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on getting a statement in ESPN Magazine you faggots.

Anonymous said...

Reality check on JC - Oaks Christian is a private school, so let's just say it was easy to put together a football team to support JC the QB. In reality, many other QB's surrounded by this talent would have the same results. O.C. football refused to play tougher opponents in the area for several years - wanted to run up the stats first by killing all the small school teams many times over. It's all a big PR game financed by someone with moolah. The local high school football coaches and fans know the truth about JC and OC.

Anonymous said...

Nope get the facts straight. Oaks Christian started with 200 kids then in their 3rd year they reached 400 then 600 by the time Clausen entered Oaks. Therefore with the size of the school Oaks was only allowed to play smaller school in league and CIF playoff games because of the size. Do you think Coach Redell wanted to waste his time by driving 3 hours to some small school to beat them 60-7 and pull Clausen, Tyler,& Jones out before half time. I think not. They were put in the division because of their size. During pre-season and non league games, Oaks played better teams in the area so stop trying to say Oaks doesn't play legit teams. Before the season started, they beat D1 teams several years in a row even before Clausen was around, so quit your whining and keep wishing your parents would have spent $20,000 per year on your high education.

Anonymous said...

aww....i hear the sounds of haters. sorry dogs jimbo didnt pick you but i bet if he did you would be jockin his rocket too. georgia sucks.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

all hail JC.
you people have no life.
ND is back.
Bashing on college kids... pathetic. Sounds like you are all just jealous of a kid making a name for himself... sour grapes.... pathetic.

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