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September 11, 2006

Chuck Norris vs. Matt Stafford

Norris gets defensive when asked about "the other" famous Texan

On Saturday before the South Carolina game, Michael Lough of the Macon Telegraph wrote an article comparing Stafford to Chuck Norris. Fair comparison. Lough's facts on Stafford include:
    Talks are underway to retire Stafford's No. 7, but 6 and 8 are done just from being next door.

    And the numbers 14, 21, 28, etc. are asking to be released from the numerical equation because how could anybody be twice or three times what 7 is?

    Quarterbacks coach Mike Bobo will soon return part of his salary because he'll have nothing to do as long as Stafford is playing.

    Stafford can't get a date in Athens because no co-ed feels worthy.

    Mark Richt hopes his son Jon develops as a quarterback so he can have a record-setting year in college and perhaps go to New York and win The Stafford.
Normally, I would tell a columnist..."Hey, you leave the snarky, sarcastic stuff to the bloggers, and we'll leave the reporting and attempts to deliver actual facts to you guys." But this is pretty solid stuff.


ht - RenegadeDawg on The Porch


Anonymous said...

I grew up all my life in Macon and thankfully Michael Lough was gone by the time I left to go to school. I still read the paper online fairly regularly and it's safe to say that Lough is one of the worst columnists in the South. Fitting though that he writes for the Macon Telegraph, quite possibly the worst paper in Georgia.

Anonymous said...

What's the Stafford Award going to be for, the quarterback who throws the most picks on the year?

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Macon as well, and have met Lough a couple of times at some bars down there. He has never played a down of football before and I would bet he hasn't played any other sport before, except maybe soccer.

Anonymous said...

All this cheesy Chuck Norris crap is annoying.

It's a cheap ripoff of the Bill Brasky SNL skit in the late 90s. If I hear a drunk frat kid tell Chuck Norris jokes in a bar one more time, I'm gonna drive down to the river bridge and shoot myself in the head.

For drunk frat kids, Chuck Norris is the new "I'M RICK JAMES B$*#&"

Dan said...

"I'm gonna drive down to the river bridge and shoot myself in the head."

Is this a promise? I have a website I can send you.

Anonymous said...

Stafford will never be able to match Mike Moore.

peacedog said...

Lough is a good guy and a solid writer; he's just having some fun. I think it's reasonable consindering all the irrational Dawg fans he has to put up with. In fact, I was chiding Lough the night after the WKU game with Staffordisms, but he knew it was a joke. Probably because I don't crap on myself everytime he writes something about UGA that isn't glowing praise (and he gets that a lot), and he knows this.

Whether or not Lough has ever played football is irrelevant. See, that's typical absurd Dawg fan commentary. But not as absurd as Mr 3-Picks. He is either one of those super insane Gamecock fans or a techie. It's probably a techie, because I doubt there is even intarweb access in South Carolina.

Also, the Chuck Norris stuff is a take off of the Vin Diesil Random Fact Generator, which was a slash-dot creation and I do believe inspired by the excellent Brasky skit. The Norris stuff tends to focus on Round House Kicks, where as the Diesil stuff is all over the map (but funny as shit).

Stafford, incidentally, can actually see who anonymous posters are when browsing blogs and such. He's also the only person who knows the exact number of tubes that the internet is made of.

As for how I can know any of this, Paul I can only point out that it was inevitable that a Dawg grad would work in computers. You have to know this stuff just to get into the building!

Anonymous said...

def said...
Stafford = BUST!

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