New Rules for Penn Wagers to Piss People Off With

There will be some significant rule changes going forward in 2012. Some rules make sense, see numbers 3 and 4. Other are ripe for abuse misinterpretation.

Misunderstood or Public Enemy?

The five new rules, in order of likelihood that Penn Wagers and his crew will be the subject of a segment on The Finebaum Show over:

1. Interference with the kick returner - We aren't having a halo rule. Except we are having a halo rule. Coverage players can't get within a yard of a returner until he fields the ball. The odds of this becoming an issue rank up there with Brian Van Gorder being cast as an extra in Boogie Nights 2 - Straight to Betamax.
2. Punt blocking – Players have to politely excuse themselves around the punter's personal blockers when they are attempting to block the kick. A 15 yard penalty and a mandatory subscription to the Rogers Redding's podcast on French Colonoscopic Techniques if you try to, you know, go over or through them.
3. Vandy, no more clipping and we mean it! – Offensive players can't go toward their own goal line and block below the waist.  I like to call this the 'Vandy and Georgia Tech are going to get called on this alot' rule.
(Video Credit: AJC)
4. Helmet Rule – Players must leave the game for one play if their helmets come off for any reason outside of live contact or penalty, and a 15 yard penalty will be assessed if a helmet comes off for any reason and the player continues that play. This will encourage players to keep their helmets tightly strapped and properly securred. This will also kill a nice little drinking game we have for when my wife goes bezerk over said helmets popping off during a play. Double points were awarded for when the same player has it happen twice in a series. 
5. Kickoffs – Teams will kickoff from the 35-yard line. Teams will start drives after a touch-back on the 25 yard line. Now, instead of asking a guy to kick it out of the endzone, we will ask them to not kick it out of the endzone. Probably to a corner where they can be covered better. You know it isn't hard. Just kick it to that corner. The kicker has to do it right for the scheme to work! /pokes eye out

I'd love to see Evil Richt get rung up a time or two, though

Also, officials will focus on coach's sideline behavior. That does not bode well for Spurrier, Saban or New Vandy™.

TD

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