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April 12, 2006

Where my ninjas at?

This is not a joke. Federal agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms beat the unshirted hell out of a student dressed as a ninja yesterday. A student captured the takedown with a camera phone.

Federal agents make a mockery of reflect favorably on their profession by gently questioning suspicious individual/Methodist Jeremiah Ransom

From today's Red&Black:
Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal laws and was not arrested.

“It was surreal,” Ransom said. “I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling when I heard someone yell ‘freeze.’”

Ransom said he thought a friend was playing a joke before he realized officers had guns drawn and pointed at him.
I understand ATF agents are no more than UGA police officers with better pensions, but did they actually have to get the kid into "investigative detention" to figure out he had violated no laws? And what constitutes a "suspicious individual" on a college campus? Hell, have you seen some of the professors lately? They have facial hair that that makes the Unabomber look like Ned Flanders.

This bogus beatdown has serious implications. Chiefly, how do we expect to protect ourselves as a society from encroachment by pirates if we're going to make it so miserable to be a ninja?

There was no information about who won the pirate vs. ninja battle.

-dawgnoxious


PWD Note: To learn more about the Real Ultimate Power of Ninjas, click here. But beware, Ninjas are prone to flip out.

19 comments:

Doug said...

On the one hand, given that ninjas are known to flip out and kill people, I can somewhat understand the ATF's overreaction -- yet as a civil libertarian, I would remind these overzealous cops that when ninja costumes are outlawed, only outlaws will have ninja costumes.

Dawgnoxious said...

Good point, Doug. However, the student may only have himself to blame. He had on striped sweatpants and a red bandana. Perhaps he was being detained for violating a little-known federal law against half-assed ninja costumes.

Anonymous said...

A better question is why the hell do we need ATF agents on campus? Are the TKE's engaged in gun- running?

all school said...

This story is a perfect example of why I have always subscribed to the old adage "A pirate's life for me."

Look at the benefits pirates have that ninjas dont.

1. Totally sweet eyepatches.

2. Ninjas dont get to have pets, but pirates have parrots. How cool is that?

3. Pirates generally live at or near a beach, so you KNOW they are getting chances to scope some serious bikini chicks. Especially at spring break.

True, ninjas have those throwing stars, which are pretty cool. All that black makes them look like South Carolina fans in the Joe Morrison era, or a bad Johnny Cash tribute band. Maybe the ATF guys were just pirate fans who wanted to kick a little ninja ass.

nico said...

This country has truly jumped the shark.

Kyle King said...

Nico hit the nail on the head.

As a Southerner and a big believer in the Bill of Rights (not to mention as someone who remembers government agents' poor judgment calls at Waco and Ruby Ridge), I have always been concerned with the A.T.F., which seems to have been set up for the whole purpose of being anti-Southern.

I mean, come on . . . it's a bureau set up to control alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. Why not include Elvis, Faulkner, and stock car racing and make the regional bias explicit?

I share Anonymous's concern over what A.T.F. agents were doing there in the first place, but, even assuming their purpose was legitimate, what was the connection between their bureau's mission and the kid in the ninja costume?

Try this word association test on someone: "alcohol," "tobacco," and "firearms." Twenty bucks says you can try that on everyone you see all day and not find a single person who answers "ninja" to any of them.

Dawgnoxious said...

Arrrr, nicely done, all school. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum for you.

I think it's pretty obvious what the ATF agents were doing on campus. I am quite sure they are carrying out Coach Adams' new tailgating policy enforcement.

Suspected tailgaters are subject to having their civil rights/orifices violated.

?Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Dante said...

Actually Kyle, when I think of "firearms", I think of GI Joe and when I think of GI Joe and "firearms", I think of Storm Shadow tossing Chinese Stars into the barrels of guns. So I may actually associate ninjas with firearms. This leads me to believe that these weren't ATF agents at all. They were in fact Joe agents on hot on the trail of Storm Shadow, the Faceless One, or Firefly (who was a demolitions expert and then all of a sudden he became a ninja?).

On top of that, I'm pretty sure the guy in the red shirt goes by the codename Bazooka, the guy with his knee on the suspected ninja's neck would be Beachhead, the guy in the Hawaiian shirt in the background is Shipwreck and of course the guy in the suit on the right is Alpine since there's only one living black Joe (poor Doc). Judging by the legs, the girl with the backpack is probably Cover Girl or Scarlett. They're all in civilian clothes so it's kind of hard to tell. I could be wrong.

And nico, jumping the shark has so jumped the shark.

paulwesterdawg said...

I can't help but wonder....isn't this the kind of thing that should be happening on GT's campus?

I mean Ninjas and Pirates?

Frankly, this whole HOPE Scholarship / academics thing might have gone a bit too far.

pwd

Anonymous said...

What is really sad is that the agents are probably unaware that they have made complete asses of themselves.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you pwd, that is total nerd territory. Next thing you know they'll be storming a dorm room to bust up a really contentious game of dungeons & dragons.....

David said...

I don't know, this might be just what we need to bring Ninjawga out of retirement!

Ninjawga takes on President Adams

Anonymous said...

How about a ninjas vs. pirates movie? Oh snap, someone already did that. http://nvp.kavefish.net/

Matt said...

Too bad about the bill of rights, but it is nice to see Taye Diggs has finally done the right thing, giving up playing the smooth body guard (way of the gun; the west wing) and actually becoming one. he looks right at home on the right side of the picture.
(The College Football Index)

Canton Bulldog said...

Man this story is so funny on so many levels.

First, as someone mentioned, why the heck is the ATF just hanging out on campus? Is there something much worse that they suspect or are they just looking for assorted Ninja.

Second, why did the ATF choose only this Ninja and not takedown the other Ninja? Better yet ... why did they leave the Pirates alone? I suspect if you do some digging on this, the ATF used the Pirates as CI's against the Ninja.

Third, as seamy as the Duke lacrosse thing is ... don't you think we'd all feel bit better about this if strippers were somehow involved?

Anonymous said...

Although I am a Tech fan, I am also a Libertarian, and therefore abhor the actions of the ATF. Sorry this happened on your campus.

And you're right, this actually should've happened at Tech.

Anonymous said...

It was an undercover nerd sting. When they do these at Tech, they have to bring in entire fleets of buses.

paulwesterdawg said...

Canton - it's even weirder than that.

While Strippers weren't involved the Methodists clearly were. Personally, I don't think the ATF guys used the Pirates against the Ninja.

I think it was the other way around. I think the Ninjas were setup by the Pirates.

PWD

CochranDawg said...

Gee, when we Southern Baptists disagree internally we just imply that those who disagree are destined for eternal damnation. We would never think of getting the feds involved. Those Methodists are hardcore, man.

 
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