From Trailer Park Magazine, the leading finance and culture publication for mobile home dwellers, we learn the following:
On Sunday, The Gamecock Athletic Department announced that they lost $2,656,084 in 2005, and that they expect to lose another $2.46 million in the academic year ending June 30, 2006. The school also announced that last summer they had $7 million in the bank as part of the "in case of emergency" fund. They are now borrowing at least $2.45 million from that fund to keep the lights on at the games.
So naturally.....on Wednesday, they announced that they are buying a $1.2 million video board for Williams-Brice Stadium.
Man, is there anything more rednecky than someone who can barely pay their bills, but says "Baby, what we need is a bigger TV! I'm talking WIDE SCREEN." Sadly, some Gamecock fan is probably reading this thinking, "You know that thang ain't worth a shit without a satellite dish."
Rendering of Future Gamecock Purchase
The whole episode reminds me of something out of the movie Major League. Maybe the new Gamecock AD has to lose a certain amount of money before he can move the football team to Florida. Which would make sense for Spurrier because he hasn't done a whole helluva a lot since he left that state in 2001.
Imagine poor old Sidney Rice. He comes in from a hard day of practicing his post corner routes and learning how to steal VCRs from the stadium like his teammates. All he wants is to give his tired bones a good soak in the whirlpool. Alas, there's no hot water....wait...there's no water. President Sorenson walks in and informs Rice that he's just going to have to get tougher.
Snipes as Sidney Rice in Major League IV: Revenge of the Gamecock
Yeah. Recruiting is going to be a breeze for old Stevie.
In unrelated news, Damon Evans swims in a gold plated pool underneath the Butts-Mehre Building as UGA posted a $23.9 million profit last year.
hat tip to Old Dawg on DawgRun.com.