It's like someone peeked into our soul and stole our thoughts. Sportsline's Clay Travis hits the nail on the head when he We may not be happy about it, but JP Sports is as closely associated with SEC football in our minds as Golden Flake and Cotton States insurance. This is not a good association because the universal response to "JP picked up the Dawgs on Saturday" is "Ahhh, shit." And the funny thing is, we're still not really sure what Jefferson-Pilot actually is.
I can only imagine how much more intense our feelings of enmity would be if we resided in the Central Time Zone. Only 9-year olds should play football before noon.
A preview of Travis's poetry:
JP's ability to turn an otherwise pleasant evening game into an early morning slugfest at a temperature approaching 110 degrees was without parallel in the annals of modern sports history. As the early morning beer flowed, JP's name was cursed to high heaven.Travis knocks it out of the park when he slams JP's incomparable ability to deliver out-of-date scores of interest:
JP's sports score motto might as well have been, "There's never a finished game we can't give you a first quarter score for." If JP did current events, midway through last year's UT-Kentucky game, this would have scrolled across the bottom of the screen: "Neil Armstrong walked on the moon today ... one small step for man, one gnat lap for mankind." Moments later, this score update would have trickled by: "Georgia Tech 126 Cumberland 0 (Halftime).
Golden Flake Sweet Heat and SEC Football = why we fought all them warsThe sad part is I'm sure we won't even notice the difference between Lincoln Financial's and JP's coverage of the Dawgs season opener. Same
Dawgnoxious
Programming Chief,
Delicious Snack Division
Update: Looks like Orson beat us to the punch and we missed it.
