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August 24, 2006

Red & Black Cartoon: Adams Sucks

Funny editorial cartoon in today's Red & Black:


PT Umphress/Red&Black. Although the likeness is uncanny, the pompous bow tie is a dead giveaway.

There was a story on NPR Morning Edition about antibiotic-resistant bacteria, which got us to thinking bout a recent article in the Banner-Herald, which quotes Michael Adams as saying, "I plan to be here for a while."

The real loser with Adams staying? The University's endowment. Despite the shell game Adams calls the capital campaign, ten years into the Adams Regime and our endowment is still sucking hind teat. Sure he may have alienated the entire State of Georia potential donors but at least he's protecting us all from the scourge of alcohol.


Dawgnoxious,
Bureau Chief
Adams Antics Division

15 comments:

SSB Charley said...

Damn, Dawgnoxious. I agree with the overall premise of your entry, but there's no need to throw down the stank on bowties. There are plenty of non-douchebags who wear bowties. Trust me when I say that I cringe every time I see that shallow sack of crap masquerading as a university president wearing a bowtie. Most of my friends from UGA who wear bowties feel the same way about der Fuhrer. Feel some bowtie love!

Dawgnoxious said...

SSB: you got me to thinking more about bow ties. Is the bow-tie-to-asshole ratio higher than for standard neckwear? So, I googled, and found an article on point in the Society for Pediatric Pathology newsletter:

Surveys conducted recently and 20 years ago show that “most people do not trust male bow-tie wearers.” Bow-tie wearers are reported to see themselves as rebels, or at least out-siders and the public feels that they are less predictable than the average tie wearer. This is due in part to the fact that bow ties are traditionally worn by men in professions that are outside the mainstream; clowns, college professors, and social and art critics (and pediatric pathologists). Bow-tie wearers announce that they are different, and they are proud of it, but must be willing to accept that “people will not trust you."

SSB Charley said...

but must be willing to accept that “people will not trust you."

Hey, I'm an attorney, so I'm used to people not trusting me. But other than just liking them, bowties also have a utilitarian function for litigators like me: it's much hard to choke somebody with their tie when it's a bowtie.

All school said...

SSB charley, to your premise that plenty of non-douchebags wear bow ties, I can only offer in rebuttal my personal favorite Exhibit A: Paul M. Kurtz, who I assume is still in residence at UGA Law and talking out of both sides of his mouth. Just the mere possibility that someone would associate me with PMK due to my bow tie wearing would be enough to make me switch to conventional ties. Or western ties. Or railroad ties.

While I am absolutely certain that you are a great guy with an unfortunate penchant for questionable neckwear, dont be so fast to assume that one benefit of bow ties is that you cant be strangled easily. If you've ever seen anyone grab the bow and twist it, you would appreciate how little rotation it actually takes to turn someone's face purple.

I will grant you that it provides a less convenient trailing handle to grab as you attempt to flee, though.

If you're wondering how I became an expert on the relative chokeability of neckwear, let it suffice to say that I am, in fact, a survivor of a Catholic grammar school in an era when the good Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur (may God bless them all) were skilled at corporal punishment, and no less willing or able to use violence as a teaching tool than your average Force Recon Marine.

As for how I became an expert on faculty douchebags at UGA Law School, well, the answer to that one is obvious. I bet Mike Wells and Donnie Wilkes are sporting bow ties on a regular basis, too.

Peace out.

Anonymous said...

Bow ties are an instant credibility killer for me.

Jason said...

I have a whole bevy of fellow alum who absolutely refuse to donate to UGA until that man is gone.

I'll never forgive him for screwing with gameday parking, again and again and again, among other things.

SSB Charley said...

I bet Mike Wells and Donnie Wilkes are sporting bow ties on a regular basis, too.

Fortunately, PMK is the only one that was sporting them when I was at UGA Law in the late 90s/early zeros. Had Wilkes or the Wall Creepter sported them (I'm not sure Wilkes ever actually wore ties, period), I'd probably be pushed completely away from them. But I'm from just outside of former Senator Paul Simon's hometown in southern Illinois, so I have had a positive disposition toward bowties from a young age. C'mon, John, we ain't all bad.

Mr. Egger said...

Enough about bowties. I wanna talk about the decline in artistic quality of Red and Black cartoons since the departure of Mack Williams. Mack was the greatest the Red and Black will ever now, but since, it seems like they've had trouble getting anyone who can even draw stick figures, let alone approach the artistic genius that was Williams.

On the overall point, I'll be a verry happy man once Michael F--as in Fucktard--Adams has left my University and is leading the NCAA. Just get him the hell out of the state. That man has screwed more Georgians than Suzanne Yoculan, yet somehow still remains the leader of the state's flagship University?

Anonymous said...

If Adams suddenly ditched the bowtie, would it change things? No. I present my case: Tucker Carlson. He's on MSNBC sans bowtie and he's still an asshole.

Alex said...

I HATE Michael Adams. May the Good Lord smite him with an eternal case of the Clap.

Doug said...

Good call on Carlson. To call him a douche would be unfair, since at least douche comes near a vagina every once in a while. Carlson's very existence obviates the need for a new word stronger than "sucks."

all school said...

SSB Charley:

I am LMAO at the term "The Wall Creepter" as a nickname for Mighty Mikey.

You will be pleased, but not surprised, to know that quirk, though not that name, was a charecteristic of Professor Wells from his first day at UGA....literally.

There was a girl in my Torts class who had been a UGA undergrad and a ZTA. Cute, very nice figure, and a squeeky little voice that belied a first rate intellect and a mind like a steel trap.

Wells was TERRIFIED of her. You could see him start to shake when she just walked down to pepper him with questions after class. Once, she and I were walking down the hallway where his office was located. He was coming from the other direction, but couldnt get to his office without passing us, especially her.

He literally almost got between the wallpaper and the wall. His eyes screamed out silently for help as they frantically looked around every way but in her direction. And, of course, she had to stop, greet him, and force him to acknowledge her. It was truly a Great Moment In Awkward Behavior.

Wells may have an IQ of 300, and he may churn out more published works every year than Doubleday, but he was less capable of simple human interaction than anyone this side of the Unabomber. I dont think he was mean, or evil, but man that guy was a geek's geek.

PMK, on the other hand, was just an exposed colon. You will not meet, in my opinion, a more two faced SOB in your life.

Wilkes was just weird. Total lefty, the kind of guy who thinks Fidel Castro wasnt enough of a true Communist. Never met a cop that wasnt a Nazi. Never met an accused who wasnt Being Held Down By the Man. Total Fruit Loop.

Anonymous said...

As a lawyer who practices in SC, I have a lot of experience with bow ties. A full 97% of bow tie wearers are pompous a-holes; that's a scientific fact. 'Nuf said.

Nathan said...

I would trade Gailey for Richt in a heart beat ... but I imagine most Georgia alumni would trade Clough for Adams just as fast.

SSB Charley said...

Seriously, if I were choosing a president right now, I'd make a big push for Purdue's president, Martin Jischke. Oustanding president, who has really improved the fundraising and academics at that university. IMO, Purdue under Jischke has really taken off and surpassed IU as the best public university in Indiana. IU has floundered under a series of mediocre presidents that have let the university's academic reputation drop further and further. Jischke is actually getting ready to retire in another year, but I'd love for us to try and get him.

Either that, or dig up IU's former president, Herman B. Wells and see what he could do. A dead Herman B. couldn't be much worse than MFA.

 
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