The Larry Munson drinking game
by Nate McCullough (UGA class of '93 and huge Larry Munson fan)
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2) The first time Larry says "Loren, whatdaya got?" everyone must reply "Well, Larry" in a high-pitched voice. The last one to do this becomes Loren and must say "I gotta drink" and then drink each time Larry says whatdaya got? for the first half. But at the start of the second half, "Loren" gets to say "I gotta drink for ———" and then gives away a drink to someone each time Larry says whatdaya got? "Loren" must do all this is a high-pitched Loren Smith voice.
3) If the real Loren tells a story that has nothing to do with the game, such as how much a player loves his mama or how the Girl Scout troop cooked s'mores for the team, everybody drinks one.
4) If Loren actually says something useful, like telling what's wrong with an injured player, everyone drinks three.
5) Every time Larry exagerates a figure, whether it be yardage, the speed of the wind, how cold it is, etc. everyone drinks two. Examples: "and he kicked it up past the moon" "the wind's blowing a hundred miles an hour" "it's fourth down and 27 miles" etc.
6) The first time Larry bemoans how much trouble the Bulldogs are in when they are clearly in control of the game, everyone drinks two. Example: "The Dawgs are up 31-0, but they've (they being UAB, Central Florida, Vanderbilt, etc.) got that little fast tailback and you know he can just explode for a thousand yards at any moment." Every time after that when Larry talks about how much trouble the Dawgs are in, everyone drinks one. (If, by consensus, the group decides the Dawgs actually are in trouble, "Loren" drinks two.)
7) Every time Larry says "There's no time" everyone drinks one. If more than five minutes are left in the game when he says there's no time, everyone drinks two. Ten minutes, three. If more than a quarter remains, everyone does a shot of tequila.
8) Every time Scott Howard interupts Larry, everyone drinks one.
9) Every time Larry talks about the fans coming into/going out of the stadium, everyone drinks one.
10) Every time Larry mentions the officials, everyone drinks one.
11) Every time Larry says "whatchmacallit," everyone drinks three.
12) If the game ends on a spectacular play with Larry saying something like "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" and then nothing for like a minute, leaving you to think he might've died, everyone drinks one for each "GOD" Larry shouts.
13) If Georgia beats Florida, everyone drinks a toast to the Dawgs and yells, "Go Dawgs!"
14) If Larry ever says the phrase "hob-nailed boot" again, everyone poors their drink into a boot and "Loren" drinks it.
15) If at the end of the game, Larry says "Old Lady Luck smiled on us" everyone toasts Old Lady Luck and drinks a shot.
16) Anyone in the room not rooting for the Dawgs must double the amount of drinks taken. Any Florida fans in the room must triple it. Since Tech fans are wusses and don't drink, they must substitute getting puched in the head by "Loren."
8 comments:
Fantastic. Larry has also been saying "monkeying around" ALOT in the past few weeks. I believe I counted at least 3 in the UAB game. They are mostly directed at the new clock rules and the refs. Great work. Somebody is going to get hammered.
I got drunk just reading it....I'm not going to make it through the whole game if I play it!
I'm with missingeorgiabad. Do you realize how many of those things happen in the like the first and second quarter alone? I'd be doing my Matt Foley impression and falling through the coffee table if I took that many shots. Of course thats why God invented Tivo. That way when I wake up I can finish watching the game and continue drinking.
So I need a couple of clarifications.
5. In rule 5, do unintentional exaggerations count? For an example that happens a LOT, when it's 1st and 10 and Larry says we run for 5 yards, and another run for 5 yards and then tells us it's 3rd and 2, do we drink? If so, do we drink for both exaggerations or just one? If he corrects himself after each run (which thankfully is happening more lately), does it still count?
6. How small a negative counts? Using the five yard run example again, on 1st and 10 if Larry says, "And they wrapped us up near the line of scrimmage. Lumpkin only got 5 yards on that play," when 5 yards is actually a pretty nice run for a 1st and 10, does that constitute a drink? He is implying trouble when in fact a rate of 5 yards per carry is pretty solid.
A shot of Ole Grandad, Ancient Age, or Old Forester for every time Loran finds some old fart who lettered at UGA prior to 1969.
A shot of Cuervo for every time someone refers to Neil as "Hondo". If Neil does it himself, than "Loran" eats the worm.
A swig of Purple Jesus for every time somebody "saves themself".
A beer for every time Scott laughs at Larry.
A shot of Wild Turkey for every time larry mentions hunting.
A trip to the bathroom for every time Larry mentions "Dick Payne".
Epic.
The only thing I would add is something for when Larry uses his signature "1/2 yard" for down & distance or yardage gained on a play. I have never heard any other announcer do this so much. "It's 3rd and two and a half", "we picked up eight and a half". I daresay he uses the half more often than "rounded up" yardage.
Outstanding stuff.
Good stuff. Now- how are we supposed to get fifths and liters into the game to play?
There really should be a drink in there for any mention of the Frog Pond Lounge.
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