The three men announced Adams' plan to bring Escort Services to the Jacksonville Landing to presumably help students get laid. It's an idea so maverick and bold in its nature as to stand at the precipice of brilliance.
Best. Idea. Ever.
From the release:
ATHENS --- The University of Georgia, the University of Florida and the city of Jacksonville have agreed to measures to improve safety for students and others who attend the annual Georgia/Florida football game this year. The institutions hope to reduce the possibility of accidents and violence that have marred celebrations during the game weekend over the past several years, including the deaths of two UF students.My initial reaction to a Safety Zone where drunk college students can stumble in and safely seek female companionship for hire if they strike out inside The Landing...Where was this idea 10 years ago when I was in school?
The city and the two universities will establish a "Student Safe Zone" near Jacksonville Landing, where students and others can find assistance, meet missing friends and access support services. Students also will be able to find first aid, maps and an escort service modeled after those already existing on the two campuses.
However, let's look at how Adams might screw this up.
Ways he could blow it:
- He could forget to bring women -- The launch of Mike Adams' Family Friendly Tailgate zones was a complete failure...apparently because no one invited the families. If he forgets the chicks and all we're left with is a bunch of dudes doing their best Julian Kaye impressions, I think the Jacksonville Cops would have a riot on their hands.
- He could order escorts from Frogtown, Minnesota -- The legendary St. Paul, MN police department's prostitution arrest page has showcased the internet's ugliest women of the evening for the past 10 years. If Adams goes shopping there, the whole idea is a bust. He needs to be thinking more Julia Roberts and less Julia Child.
It would be just like Adams to go cheap on us and bring in the bus station skanks.
And while we're at it, did you notice the phrase..."escort service modeled after those already existing on the two campuses." I'm a bit shocked that UF's President Machen (aka The Stormin Morman") and Adams had sneaked such a program past the blogosphere.
There was such an uproar when they tried to put condom vending machines on campus that I would've figured a true shit storm would've been unleashed when they launched a hooker program. Oh well...the things you learn via the Internets.
The Cocktail Party will never be the same.
PWD
Note: It is the official position of the Georgia Sports Blog that paying for sex is like paying for parking. Why pay for it if you work a little more, you can get it for free.
2 comments:
This is a truly revolutionary program by the Beloved Leader. However, I share your surprise that he decided to head in this direction.
I would have figured he'd consider hiring some Methodist Ninjas to keep everyone calm and pacified. As long as the ATF doesnt decide to raid the game, that plan would have worked.
On the other hand, providing an escort service for visiting students should help calm everyone down. Who has time to pick fights with mullet wearing guys in Danny Wuerffel jerseys and jean shorts when University provided hookers await?
Personally, I think Czar Mike was sitting around one day, reading passages from Aristophanes' masterpiece, "Lysistrata," when it sparked an idea in his classically trained mind. "Hey, what is the ONE thing in the world that can make warring factions lay down their arms (and their pants)?"
Even though the schadenfreude factor in this plan is zero, my hat is off to the Weasel In Chief
If you can't get laid on Friday night before the Georgia-Florida game, you are a pathetic loser, like Dr. Adams.
Just sayin'.
Post a Comment