Yes, I realize this is the Georgia Sports Blog, and yes, we realize golf is not a sport. But, please indulge us. UGA Women's Golf coach Todd McCorkle resigned abruptly last week, and UGA released a 57-page report from Such questionable behavior included:
--telling his players he went Commando. [Maybe he was just a fan of the iconic 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger film?]
--Told one player that she "looked sexy" and made similar comments to her over a period of time and, on one occasion, remarked about the player's "purple underwear," which could be seen through her pants, according to interviews of players and parents. [what is it about UGA employees and colored underwear fetishes? I bet Jeff Dantzler put him up to this.]
--Bought FHM and Maxim men's magazines on road trips. [Uh oh. This is the part that cuts a little close to home.]
--Showed players pictures of a Victoria's Secret catalog and compared the models to players on the team. [It's always the girls who don't compare favorably who complain.] And,
--once had a Paris Hilton video pop-up on his computer screen when players were in his presence, according to the documents. [Just any Paris Hilton video, or THE Paris Hilton video? What kind of half-assed report doesn't make that critical distinction?]
Driver? Damn near killed her.Our sources have revealed what transpired when Coach McCorkle announced his resignation to the team:
Coach: Attention everyone. Hello? Ah, yes. I just want you to know that, ah - this is not my decision - but from here on out we can NO longer be friends. Aaaand when we talk about things here, we must only discuss, uh, 'work-associated' things. And, ah, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And, in the future, if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer... EVER... do... any of those things.
Lady Golfer: Does that include 'that's what she said'?
Coach: Mmm-hmm, yes.
Lady Golfer: Wow, that is really... hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...
Coach: ...THAT'S what she said. Hahahahaha.
Dawgnoxious,
General Counsel
Georgia Sports Blog
8 comments:
The atmosphere that he's tried to create here is that he's a friend first and a coach second, and probably an entertainer third.
Taylor Leon: "Man, that's a big driver."
Coach: "That's what she said."
This is just too easy.
Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...
"C'mon, bark like a dog for me. Bark like a dog!"
And I agree with Bill Mahr. Anything that you can do while smoking is not a sport.
Dear Anon 12:54
Your humble correspondant once played an ALTA match against a gentleman who insisted on smoking one of those curved pipes like you would see in a Sherlock Holmes movie during the match. Both I and my younger brother, who was my doubles partner, were kind of baffled by this pronouncement. At times, you couldn't see the guy's face for the nauseating cloud of tobacco smoke that enveloped him.
We played out of Piedmont Park, and these guys were from some old money neighborhood off Paces Ferry and the river (I think it was called Cochise). I think the guy was actually some kind of senior partner at Alston and Bird, so he was probably used to unreasonably imposing on everyone around him. My brother tried mightily to bean the guy the entire match, in hopes of dislodging the pipe from his mouth, but the guy proved a little more nimble than he appeared.
We did, however, thrash him and his partner like a couple of rented mules. As my brother used to say, the only thing more fun than beating rich guys was beating REALLY rich guys. Vive le proletariat.
Yeah we're grown men and can laugh about it, but bottom line you have to ask yourself this question; would you want your daughter being coached by someone like that? I know I wouldn't want her in the same building with a guy like that. I joke around with my buddies alot and say things I'm not proud of but I never bring it home to my family.
To paraphrase Judge Smales, "Todd's an employee of the school. Certainly he wouldn't be participating in something as il-LEEEEEGALLLL as THIIIIIS".
Anon 12:58
I think getting rid of the guy was a good move. I don't know what kind of coach he was but obviously he was big trouble just waiting to happen.
If you can't be professional then you do not need to hold the position he held.
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