Ever been in a cockpit before? Do you like movies about gladiators? Ever spent any time in a Turkish prison? Ever gone bar hopping with UVA offensive linemen?Two Virginia offensive linemen including
Junior offensive lineman Will Barker and redshirt freshman lineman Dave Roberts were picked up at Club 216 on Water Street at 3:45 Saturday morning. Police say both men admitted to stealing beer from a cooler at the nightclub. Both face larceny charges. Roberts, who is 19 years old, is also charged with being a minor in possession of alcohol and with using a fake ID.That's not a funny story until you learn that Club 216 is "Charlottesville, Virginia's only gay and lesbian bar and dance club." (Club216.com: This link is exactly what you think it is. So click with caution)
As Orson Swindle points out,
"if you’re going to steal something at a gay club, sweetie, make sure it’s someone’s heart, not a few beers from behind the bar."Hell...if the big lugs had just worked their money makers on the dance floor, I'm sure they would've gotten the beers for free.
The UVA players caught a huge break in that the place was more discreetly named "Club 216" as opposed to The Lonely Poker, Served Straight, Rods, Swish or The Manhole.
Note: I'm not saying anyone involved in this story is gay. You can find yourself in some weird places at 3:45 in the morning. Regardless, doesn't make it less funny.
See Also::
-- Stealing beer is the least of your problems - TSN
-- UVA Players Arrested - WithLeather (hysterical comments. Profanity)
-- Bend Eauxver - EDSBS on Gay Athletes at LSU (safe for work)
-- Airplane Quotes - IMDB
PWD
22 comments:
Good stuff, but it doesn't compare to the player arrested for DUI with a kidnapped gay sheep in his truck. Fulmer Cup classic!
I will personally restrain myself from unleashing the litany of bad jokes that are currently fighting each other to be the first one out of my idle devil's hands...
That said, doesn't Captain Sexy there realize that the fauxhawk is SOOOOOOO over? I mean, I can't believe they let him in the club looking like THAT...
Someone has to say this, regarding the possibility that these players were at the club because they were gay:
not that there's anything wrong with that.
If stealing beers from Foxy'z when Allen's is too crowded to get within 12 feet of the bar is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
Dammit. My mom and dad, both UVA alums, went out of town last night and I didn't get a chance to razz them about this.
81Dog ....
What are your trying to say?? That you secretly envy Tickle piles??
"I'm saying anyone involved in this story is gay"
Did you mean to say - NOT "I'm saying anyone"?
Anon - 8:49
Thanks for the FYI.
Man....what a typo. Should've read...."I'm not saying...."
I was laughing so hard when I was writing it, that I'm shock that there weren't more typos.
Georgia players get arrested for alcohol-related charges all the time. These guys did it with panache of a gay Cavalier
The club rules clearly state that membership is 50 bucks and you may bring your own hard licker...
http://www.club216.com/files/membership/membership.html-ssi
Actually, as funny as this is, this story made me happy in a different way altogether. The likelihood is that the players are probably NOT gay, but they didn't mind going to a gay bar apparently. I think if some offensive linemen got caught going to a gay bar in the late 70s they would have been stoned to death by the rest of the team...
That being said, it's freaking hilarious.
Cosmo says these dreams are normal.
Universal,
Bingo. It's exponentially funnier because they likely aren't gay.
Gives a whole new meaning to Grohe-mentum, doesn't it?
I couldn't help myself there.
RC - are you really Mike Bobo?
"you may bring your own hard licker" - there another joke somewhere in there.
chef +1
victim of the laughing typo - I meant to say "there IS another..."
Say what you want, but there was no easier place to pick up women in late '90s Athens than Boneshakers.
And yes, they were women. I think.
Josh, none of those girls at Boneshakers were named Sheena, were they? Especially the ones drinking the Funky Cold Medina?
Other than AMF, Boneshakers was one of the few places you could get into at 18. As someone who came to college at 17, this was a huge deal.
Of course, I mostly went to AMF, but theres nothing wrong with an older gentleman buying an underage boy a drink is there?
"Of course, I mostly went to AMF, but theres nothing wrong with an older gentleman buying an underage boy a drink is there?"
As long as you're not a recruit...
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