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August 10, 2011

Da Broncos

V/O: Treasure Valley Community Television Channel 11 is proud to present this locally produced broadcast, brought to you by Quinn's, serving the best beef, gravy, beer and finger steaks in Boise for over forty years.


[ open on exterior, Quinn's Lounge]
[ dissolve to the Green Laminate Table, where Gavin Hauder and his Boise State Bronco Super Fan friends sit, surrounded by day old prime rib and finger steaks] 

GAVIN HAUDER: Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to "Gavin Hauder's Super Fans"! I'm Gavin Hauder, and with me, as always, are the Super Fans: Ethan Probst ..

ETHAN PROBST: Hey, Gavin.

GAVIN: ..Logan O'Connell..

LOGAN O'CONNELL: [ while chewing his food; distracted ] Gavin.

GAVIN: ..and Hunter Rasmussen.

HUNTER RASMUSSEN: How are you doing, Gavin?
 
GAVIN: Alright, we're talking here, live from Quinn's, in the heart of Boise, Idaho. The City of Trees, and home, of course, to a certain football team, known the world over, as.. Da Broncos! 

SUPERFANS: Da Broncos!

GAVIN:  As you know, our beloved Boise State Broncos are traveling to take on another 'so called' power conference poser to start the season in Atlanta.  Let's go around the table and see what we think the outcome will be between the Broncs and the Georgia Bulldogs.  Hunter?

HUNTER: Da Broncos, 77-9.  Georgia's got a good kicker.

GAVIN: True.  Ethan?

ETHAN: Da Broncs, 46-6.

GAVIN: [surprised] You think they can hold the Broncs under 50?

ETHAN:  [apologetic] Oh, I thought you meant just the first half.  Da Broncos 92-6.

GAVIN: That is more realistic.  We do have Chris Petersen.

ALL NOD IN AGREEMENT AND FIST BUMP AROUND THE TABLE

GAVIN: Logan, put that beer down, I'm the only one old enough to drink.

LOGAN: [sarcasticly*] Sorry, dad.  I didn't think you were looking.

GAVIN:  Don't worry, dude.  What do you think about the game?

LOGAN: Whatever.  No one is actually going.  When are we playing Idaho?

GAVIN: Don't be that way!  We'll have a packed house of 34,000 when we open at home against Tulsa! Da Broncos are more than just the Vandals' overlords.

LOGAN: Whatever.

GAVIN: Rapid fire question time.  This is the time of the show that I use a technique I learned in Psych 101 at CWI last year to get the gut feeling of the person being asked the question.  Ethan,  How about Boise State vs. the 1985 Chicago Bears?

ETHAN: With the mini-Ditka?

GAVIN: Yes!

ETHAN: Broncs 45-10.  If Ditka were full sized, then it would be closer.

GAVIN: Hunter, Boise State, with Kellen injured and Petersen's hair messed up vs. Arsenal in soccer.

HUNTER: Broncos, 7-nil.  Da Broncs' defense is just that good.

GAVIN: Logan, Broncos vs. Patton's 2nd Armored Division?

LOGAN: Who is Patton?  I know we can beat Idaho.

GAVIN: Dammit, Logan.  I'm not letting you come next time.

ALL ARGUE IN THE BACKGROUND

GAVIN:  That is all the time we have.  Tune in to Super Fans next week when we examine who will finish second to Kellen Moore in the Heisman voting, or if they'll just invite only him.

Fade out.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Won't post the comment, but made the corrections. Well, at least we know you can read. How's that UGA degree workin' out for you?

Tyler Dawgden said...

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Let it be known that Anon 4:58 caught me in two terrible breaches of blogging protocol. One, I misspelled forty. The other, I used spelled Boise State's coach's name with 'son' instead of 'sen'.

I stand before your a humbled and broken man.

Although, to be fair, you missed me misspelling apologetic, as well.

By the way, my UGA degrees are working out well.

How is your certificate from the College of Western Idaho working out?

Dawgfan Will said...

To give Anon 4:58 something to do, I'll just go ahead and say this post is allsome.

William said...

I guess the old saying is true. That ignorance is bliss and those sound like some happy guys (for the edification of da bronco fans bliss means happy and ignorance is not a complement).

Paul Westerdawg said...

Amen.

Russ Fortson said...

Good stuff!

 
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