Georgia Sports Blog FanShop

July 28, 2006

Moses and the Ten Plagues: By SaxonDawg


The famous Four Horsemen of Notre Dame galloped off the pages of the Book of Revelation. This year’s Dawg defense, however, promises go all Old Testament on its opponents. Consider:


The other Moses.

In the book of Exodus, the Israelites were led by Moses. The Dawg defense is led by Moses at defensive end.

The other anchor, Charles Johnson, is known to his teammates as “Darkness.” Darkness is also one of the Ten Plagues that Moses mojo’ed upon Egypt’s mummified butt. It is clear to any freakish Bible prophecy geek that this year’s defense will descend upon the ungodly as MOSES AND THE TEN PLAGUES.


10 Plagues of Egypt

So after Moses himself and Darkness, that leaves nine plagues...and nine UGA defensive players. Here are the plagues that are still not taken:
    1. Water turned to blood
    2. Frogs
    3. Lice
    4. Flies
    5. Cow disease
    6. Boils
    7. Hail
    8. Locusts
    9. Darkness
    10. Death of the firstborn
All that remains is to match the player to the plaguer.

If you ask the team, everybody raises their hand to volunteer for "Death of the Firstborn." Nobody wants to be "Boils." Ray Gant is very eager to be Cow Disease; we’d rather not ask why.


Darkness Cometh. (Image: Jim Hipple)

We want to be fair about this. Can you [Georgia Sports Blog reader] make the remaining assignments?

One other note. In case of injuries and substitutions, we can use newer plagues, such as:
    1. Body Odor
    2. Boy Groups
    3. Michael Adams
    4. Beer Turned to Wine Cooler.
Share your thoughts on Moses and the 10 Plagues.

SaxonDawg
Guest Contributor
Georgia Sports Blog

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Tra Battle would represent the plague of Frogs. He's small, and he's got a lot of jump to him.

I don't vouch for him tasting like chicken or anything. I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I see Tony Taylor as Boils, largely because after 60 minutes of him laying the wood to someone's ass, it'd probably be sore and bleeding.

Paul Oliver might be a good choice as Locusts. He's pesky, he covers WRs like a cloud, and he eats up lots of passes that come in his direction.

I may be able to come up with some more, but I dont want to hog ALL the fun.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah. It's too bad Rick James is no longer available to weigh in on this, although he'd probably want to replace CJ with Charlie Murphy as Darkness. I'm not sure what Rick's football IQ was, but Charlie may have lost a step since they all hung out at the China Club. Maybe Rick would see the wisdom in crowning a new Darkness.

Carry on.

Michael Pigott said...

I give kuddos to anyone that can drop a biblical/SEC football reference. You have skills PWD.

Unknown said...

Cool Hand,

I didn't write it. SaxonDawg did. Saxon's got extra skillz in this area.

pwd

Michael Pigott said...

Correction:
Saxondawg, you da man!

Michael Pigott said...

Cow disease has to be someone that always shows up big for the Auburn game.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Ownes as Hail.

Every time he stuffs a run or runs through a block to get to the quarterback, we be saying, "Oh, Hail Yeah!"

Anonymous said...

Remarcus Brown flies.

Unknown said...

If Mudcat Elmore doesn't do something big this year, he's probably the "Liquor into Water" plague.

I know his back has been bad, and he's moved around to a bunch of positions. But geez. That dude was an 11 star recruit, and between luck and health he's yet to really contribute....beyond owning a possessed car.

Which in and of itself is a curse/plague.

pwd

 
Copyright 2009 Georgia Sports Blog. Powered by Blogger Blogger Templates create by Deluxe Templates. WP by Masterplan