Yes, I realize this is the Georgia Sports Blog, and yes, we realize golf is not a sport. But, please indulge us. UGA Women's Golf coach Todd McCorkle resigned abruptly last week, and UGA released a 57-page report from Such questionable behavior included:
--telling his players he went Commando. [Maybe he was just a fan of the iconic 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger film?]
--Told one player that she "looked sexy" and made similar comments to her over a period of time and, on one occasion, remarked about the player's "purple underwear," which could be seen through her pants, according to interviews of players and parents. [what is it about UGA employees and colored underwear fetishes? I bet Jeff Dantzler put him up to this.]
--Bought FHM and Maxim men's magazines on road trips. [Uh oh. This is the part that cuts a little close to home.]
--Showed players pictures of a Victoria's Secret catalog and compared the models to players on the team. [It's always the girls who don't compare favorably who complain.] And,
--once had a Paris Hilton video pop-up on his computer screen when players were in his presence, according to the documents. [Just any Paris Hilton video, or THE Paris Hilton video? What kind of half-assed report doesn't make that critical distinction?]
Driver? Damn near killed her.Our sources have revealed what transpired when Coach McCorkle announced his resignation to the team:
Coach: Attention everyone. Hello? Ah, yes. I just want you to know that, ah - this is not my decision - but from here on out we can NO longer be friends. Aaaand when we talk about things here, we must only discuss, uh, 'work-associated' things. And, ah, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And, in the future, if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer... EVER... do... any of those things.
Lady Golfer: Does that include 'that's what she said'?
Coach: Mmm-hmm, yes.
Lady Golfer: Wow, that is really... hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...
Coach: ...THAT'S what she said. Hahahahaha.
Dawgnoxious,
General Counsel
Georgia Sports Blog
