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May 6, 2008

Joe Hamilton Arrested for Weed, DUI, Hit and Run, and Open Container (According to AJC)

The Atlanta Journal reports that Joe Hamilton was arrested Tuesday for "driving under the influence, possession of marijuana, open container and hit and run on Tuesday."

Reuben Houston is not impressed.

If Lil Joe was just a random civilian minding his own business, selling chicken wings and basking in his own bucket of crazy this would barely even warrant a mention.

However, Joe Hamilton joined Tech's football staff last week as assistant director of player personnel. His duties include assisting with recruiting and helping the players.

So their shiny new recruiting guru gets pinched riding dirty? Damn. Well, let's review the charges.
  • Possession of Weed by a member of Coaching Staff: That's a recruiting plus for GT. Kids love the weed these days.

  • Hit and Run: Based on Tech's recruiting class last year, they could really use some guys that can do at least one of those things well.

  • DUI: Booze don't drink itself. Kids understand that.

  • Open Container: Easier for sharing between coaches and players.

  • Timing: How much do you want to wager that Lil Joe was enjoying his party on wheels in a post-Cinco De Mayo haze. You have to respect his commitment to celebrating Mexico's Independence by enjoying some fine Columbian stank.
Net Result: This could help can't get worse can it? Insert comments about Tech's Total Person

See Also:
-- Leading by Example - EDSBS


Ht - Erik


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

This is great. Tech lies and cheats to keep Hamilton on scholly and on the field. The result: Tech gets slapped by the NCAA and finds itself on probation for the first time ever.

Tech covers up the lying and cheating and hires Hamilton to be a coach. The result: Hamilton, figuratively speaking, IMMEDIATELY pulls his pants down and takes a dook on the 50 yard line of the Joke.

I'm beginning to think Tech might trade for Quincy.

Anonymous said...

Heeeaay Joe, where ya goin' with that bong in your hand!

Anonymous said...

Joe Hamilton: When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong.

Just to show you how wacky GTU nerds are, it's a feeding frenzy on the Hive. Joe Must GO!!!! He's let them down. He's ruined their image. He's a baaaaaaaad man.

Reuben Houston, on other hand? Hey, what's 100 pounds of pot between friends? Why not let him play?

I'm sure Joe never had a drink or toked on any weed while playing QB, either.

Fortunately, if GTU should can Joe, Reggie BaLLLL is rested and ready to step in as his replacement on the coaching staff. Coaching is coaching, dog. It aint no big deal.

Anonymous said...

It's really too bad this didn't happen during football season so maybe the NCAA would make GTU vacate any wins they got in 2008. GTU Joe: Eraser Part II

JasonC said...

The great thing for Joe is that he can probably parlay his new experience to become the top candidate for Tennessee's Director of Player Development. I'm sure Fulmer has already placed a call inquiring about Joe's availability.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Reggie BallSac is available if they can beat out Burger King.

Hobnail_Boot said...

3 w's dot J-O-E Hamilton dot com..

They see me roll out,
A Tech man;
they know we lie and cheat real dirty

Tech lies and cheats real dirty (3x)

My drivin's so bad,
I'm swervin',
They hopin'
I'm still dressed in my white and urine

dressed in my white and urine (3x)

Anonymous said...

Vince Dooley and the ghost of that drunken Wally Butts were spotted in the vehicle with Hamilton. Butts had Westerdawg nailed from behind while Dooley fed him a tube steak.

Unknown said...

Woah, a Techie is in the building. I thought something smelled like honey.

Anonymous said...

honey or sh*t?

Anonymous said...

I was hit and injured by a drunk driver and lost a family member. Mr. Hamilton is an abomination to all families who use our public highways.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, Joe "Hit-n-Run" Hamilton has a certain WWE ring to it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, at least he's got that History, Technology & Society degree to fall back on.

Anonymous said...

Any truth to the rumor that he fumbled his beer in the car but the officer missed it?

Anonymous said...

when you think about it, Hamilton is just carrying on the fine tradition of GTU QBs started by John DUIberry of getting trashed and jumping behind the wheel of a car.

Of course, Hamilton may have raised the bar with the weed and leaving the scene, but he's always been a trailblazer (as opposed to just a blazer).

Somebody better keep an eye on Goose and Reggie BaLLL. Let's not meet by accident, you nerdly former GTU QBs.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see how the Nerds try to spin this in their favor.

My guess: "Oh, it's not like Dawgs are all saints."

There, I preempted them.

Anonymous said...

I be sorry 'bout mys error. I drivin' drunk ain't no biggie. We stills gonna get sum good playas at Tech. I can'ts wait to gets back on CSS with Buck. I's learned great english whiles in college. Pass me the joint.

Your Friend,
Joe Hamiltons

S.A.W.B. said...

Just in from the AJC - Lil' Joe has resigned his position with Yech.

Anonymous said...

You would think that Smoker Joe’s education should have taught him that the pharmacy school is in Athens and he should practice pharmacy without a license.

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