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September 7, 2005

Zabransky Left in Athens, Frozen in Carbonite

By Josh Morey

Athens—The Boise State Broncos loss to the University of Georgia on the football field was only one contributing factor to an all around awful day for quarterback Jared Zabransky.

Before the game, Boise State head coach Dan Hawkins showed his team an inspirational video including images from Star Wars, telling his team to "use the force" to defeat the empire.

"I thought he would play like Luke Skywalker," Hawkins said. "He looked more like Jar Jar Binx today."

The force was not with Zabransky as he was taken out of the game for throwing four interceptions and fumbling twice.

Zabransky was then frozen in carbonite.

After that game, UGA Defensive Coordinator Willie Martinez told Coach Hawkins that he "was his father."

[Photo: Zabransky seen here was given over to the Athletic Association after the game.]

“At first we weren’t sure what to do with him, but after a short meeting, we all agreed that he would be a great addition to the Butts-Mehre building,” Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans said.

Mentioned as a possible Heisman contender, Zabransky’s frozen corpse will stand next to Herschel Walker’s Heisman trophy case. Later in the year, he will serve as the trophy for the Intramural Flag Football tournament.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Actually Martinez said to Hawkins, "whos ya momma?"

Anonymous said...

In related news::

DAWG WIN SPELLS DISASTER FOR TECH FANS


Atlanta- Tech fans are left with huge disappointment this week after Boise State's Dan Hawkins motivational tool of the Empire Strkes Back fails to lead the Broncos to victory. Eager Tech fans that bought up all remaining copies of The Empire Strikes Back are all left with a bitter feeling. Tech fan Jimmy Pocketprotecter explains..."We were gonna use the ESB as a dating tool, its the perfect date movie. We feel like "Size matters not" is an important message that our dates needed to hear."

 
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