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March 23, 2006

Adams to Tailgaters: Drop Dead

Don't say you weren't warned. Mike Adams, the most severe irritant in Athens since fire ants, further antagonizes the public with a power grab that could only end with him planning your tailgate menu by 2008. (Don't worry, Adams probably won't steal your alcohol, but only because he soaks the State of Georgia for his)

[Photo: Unelected, ineffective and unbeloved President. How the hell did he get this job anyway? Oh, yeah--this guy.]

Under the subterfuge of controlling fan behavior, The Beloved Leader has issued a fiat outlawing parking on sidewalks on gameday. What does parking on sidewalks have to do with preventing overserved football fans? How much alcohol is really being consumed on campus prior 7:00AM?

As I've speculated previously, this has nothing to do with curbing alcohol consumption. Fan misbehavior is a stalking horse for implementing tailgating changes that Adams has always wanted. His sycophantic lapdog Jimmy "Clancy Wiggum" Williamson is only so happy to carry water for Adams in this regard.

What can be done? In all reality, not much. Until Adams' annuity matures (I believe in 2007), we're stuck with this metaphorical canker sore.

[Photo: Adams announces that tailgating menus must be submitted for approval to the Beloved Leader's Commission on Tailgating no later than 72 hours before kickoff]

Dawgnoxious,
Bureau Chief
Mike Adams Corruption Division

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm all for more trash cans. That falls under the heading..."Hey dumbass, what took you so long?"

As I've said before, when 92,000 people eat 2-3 meals and consume beverages for 8-10 hours either for the purpose of remaining hydrated or getting drunk it creates a lot of waste. I have NEVER seen an empty trash can post-game. Ever. So rah, rah to Adams for adding more trash cans.

I'm also a fan of the Family Friendly Tailgate Zones. Especially since they don't involve our tailgate area.

However, as you said the tent setup issue and the no parking on the sidewalks have zero to due with fan behavior or garbage. It's just him wanting us to tailgate his way...which means...not at all.

It's interesting that you can drink as much as you want at his tailgate. But I can't manage my tailgate they way I want.

pwd

Anonymous said...

It's just another complete control issue. Are there not more pressing issue on campus? What business does a University president have regulating tailgating? It's just another example of the government encroachment on our lives. Pretty soon he'll tell us what to wear and I'm pretty sure he would choose earth tone colors like Felton so we wouldn't offend other people. Sheesh...this is just crazy.

Canton Bulldog said...

Not that I have this on the record publicly, but I predicted that there would be changes coming to tailgating after the Auburn game. I walked through North Campus after the game on my way to downtown and the stench something that I have never smelled EVER at a Georgia game - and I have been attending games since 1986.

If we are talking real here, whether there were too many or too few trash cans on North Campus is not really the point. The fact is the tailgaters could have brought their own trash bags and treated the grounds with more respect.

North Campus is one of the landmarks of our school and the tailgaters in that area that night treated it as if it was some farmer's field in upstate New York.

Dawgnoxious said...

Canton: Two issues. First, I agree with you that ALL Dawgs MUST treat campus with respect and clean up after themselves. No discussion.

Second, the amount of garbage and drinking on campus HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH PARKING ON A SIDEWALK OR GETTING THERE BEFORE 7AM. Adams' "solution" is as nonsensical as saying he's going to curb excessive drinking by lowering the speed limit on Lumpkin. The solution IS TOTALLY UNRELATED TO THE STATED PROBLEM.

I'm completely convinced he has always wanted a no-sidewalk rule in place, and now he's getting it.

I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, less'n I could piss gasoline.

Darth Scooter said...

The man is a jerk. He has always been a jerk. I used to wait tables at the Georgia Center, when I was in school, and we had to cater all his parties. The man treated us like crap. The managers always talked about how different things were run under Adams as opposed to Knapp.

I doubt if Adams will be happy until he can make Georgia football a black tie event. They'll probably outlaw beer at tailgates next and demand caviar and champagne.

Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

Another reason to hate Adams . . . see "Newcastle, carrying coals to." He's developing quite a record for analyzing problems and coming up with "solutions" that will do absolutely nothing to solve the problem in question. Which I can only guess means he's probably planning a run for Congress sometime in the near future.

Dawgnoxious said...

Doug, perish the thought! I would crawl over broken glass, while bleeding out of my eyeballs, to vote against that sonofabitch. I would tap dance on his grave in front of his widow. Every time I see his smug face on television I want to scratch his name off my diploma.

Anonymous said...

DAWGNOXIOUS, I swear to you, as your friend and fellow Georgia fan, that if I can, I will throw beer on Adams' fat ass, but not if he is on fire. If he is on fire, I will throw liquor.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, if Dawgnoxious wants you to get elected, you're getting elected.

Although, he clearly doesn't provide a warranty for his work. lmao. I'm not sure if that works in reverse.

I'm not sure if he can stop you from getting elected. Interesting thought to ponder.

Anonymous said...

Fortunately, Dawgnoxious, I am old school enough to have "Charles B. Knapp" on my diploma. Well, it's now official- we are lame, lame, LAME! This really sucks. Less campus buildings open, and more portable toilets?! This is the treatment you give to your contributors?! WTF?! It has become more enjoyable to attend the away games and get better treatment from rival schools. Sad.

Anonymous said...

We're wondering how many of those who trashed the campus are "contributors" of anything to the university.

Anonymous said...

orson - I will grant Adams this. It was really, really, really bad after the Auburn game. The sheer volume of trash was staggering. We probably need 5x the number of trash cans to handle it all.

We don't have many meaningful night games in Athens. The best games are on CBS at 3:30. We have even fewer that are meaningful LATE SEASON night games with something riding on them.

The last one with anything riding on it was 1997 Auburn. I don't remember ever having another meaningful, late season night game. EVER.

I don't think the University was in any way shape or form prepared for the game or the size of the crowd. ESPECIALLY given how enormously popular the all day tailgate has become.

The advances in tailgate technology (bag chairs, bag tents, bag tables, $40 inverters, DISH NETWORK access, etc) has made tailgating an all day event. We damn near need roadies for our crew of 30-50 folks.

The campus did look *rough*, but other than the additional trash cans, I see nothing on here that would make things better next time.

The problems were widespread, but as I keep saying. What the hell did they expect with 92,000 people eating 2-3 meals over a 6-10 hour period. DUH!

Anonymous said...

Orson is right on- the people that trashed the campus likely did not even have a ticket to the game, much less appear on an athletic donor list of any kind. What exactly do our "game management" people do? Other than sit around with other campus entities and ask each other "how can we screw people?"

Anonymous said...

Adams is not a canker sore or a fire ant. More like a hemmoroid. (Not sure of the spelling, but you get the idea.)

 
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