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March 10, 2006

Georgia Seeks Redacted Fulmer Cup Point

Source: Reuters

ATHENS -- The University of Georgia Athletic Department is preparing to petition the sports blog EverydayShouldBeSaturday in an effort to have One (1) Fulmer Cup Point removed from the current standings. According to published reports in the Athens Banner Herald, the charge of driving with a suspended license against defensive tackle Marquis Elmore was dismissed on Thursday because a warrant had not been properly served.

"Winning an award as prestigious as the Fulmer Cup is something that we want to earn via hard work, mayhem and violent overthrow of small governments," said Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans. "Getting these nickel and dime charges off the books frees up more room for big offenses. Offenses we typically just call Reuben's.' Unlike our in-state rival, we play by the rules and we want all our victories to be based upon fair competition. We take the Fulmer Cup very seriously."

Evans meets with reporters to discuss Fulmer Cup

Ed Tolley, Georgia Athletic Department Chief Legal Counsel, is preparing a motion to have Orson Swindle redact one Fulmer Cup Point from the standings. However, Tolley expressed concern over the hasty move to remove the point.

"The reality is that his license was suspended, but he just didn't know it. It's still suspended. If he gets pulled over tomorrow, he will go right back to jail unless he gets the license re-instated properly. Given that his car is possessed by the Devil or the Ghost of Bobby Dodd and given track record of UGA's DMV-related incompetence, I don't like Elmore's chances of not getting pinched again."

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Anonymous said...

Winning the Fulmer Cup without bending the rules would be a hollow victory. Lets cheat and win it the "Fulmer" way.

Anonymous said...

new phrase for the dawg nation.... "make every day a G-DAY"

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