[Defendant Photo: Bear acquaintance. Hawg driver. Toad killer.]
Georgia Sports Blog Court is now in session, having been in recess since Ian "Tater Salad" Smith's ignominious and scatological (though non-public) arrest. Kyle's "ruminations of a concerned citizen" are predictably excellent, and his fine print disclaimer is incorporated by reference as if fully set forth herein. GSB Court takes judicial notice of the Mayor's "pizza-boy analogy".
Ron St. John (no-relation, alas no irony-satisfying 'Family Feud'. Hereinafter "Plaintiff") alleges in part Plaintiff’s 72 Dodge Champion RV “The Toad” is no longer a signature that uniquely identifies Plaintiff with Crimson Tide Fans, the resulting stress of which was so severe "no reasonable person could be expected to endure it". The allegation begs the question whether The Toad was ever, in fact, uniquely identified with Alabama Football.
Defense maintains Plaintiff has failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted. Accordingly, the veracity of the allegation should be thoroughly investigated through gathering of empirical evidence.
To wit, Defendant brings on Richard Dawson as co-counsel for the defense: We surveyed 100 people, asking them "what do you uniquely identify with Crimson Tide Football?" Their answers are on the board.
Defendant moves for summary judgment based on the fact that I have seen a picture of The Bear with Defendant, but have never seen a picture of the Bear with The Toad, leading to the fair conclusion the Defendant is more uniquely associated with Crimson Tide football than Plaintiff. If and only if Survey Says: 'The Toad', can Plaintiff's dubious claim survive summary judgment. [What else would Survey Say? Post a comment.]
To give you an idea of something how high the bar has been set for Plaintiff's claim, for an example of something that is also not associated with Alabama football and the deleterious tortious effects of which on vehicle owner's psychological well-being are "outrageous," "extreme," "atrocious and utterly intolerable", see below: