And in other news, Larry Flynt deems himself innocent of pornography charges, Keith Richards puts an end to drug rumors and James Earl Ray completes his investigation proving that he in fact did not kill Martin Luther King.
"All I'm guilty of is bad taste." - Larry Flynt
In a related story, James Gundlach (Auburn's whistle blower) has been instructed by Auburn officials to listen to country music non-stop for the next 20 years.
pwd
ht - aldog from dawgpost.com
11 comments:
I completely agree with school president Ed Richardson's quote in the AJC: "This is not an athletic problem." It is hardly the athletic department's fault Auburn's curriculum is a joke. Auburn's academic reputation has been the laughingstock of the conference for decades. Glad they've turned things around since they nearly lost their accreditation a few years ago.
Boy, that's a relief. I was terribly worried that Auburn would find itself guilty of academic suckage.
In related news, the word on the street is that Carnell Williams plans to reurn to Auburn as a Sociology prof. after his NFL days are over.
This makes perfect sense to me. 18 football players take this no-show class, no one earns less than a B, some of them take more than one.....but there's no athletic scandal here, because ANY stump jumpin' trailer dweller enrolled at AU could take one of these giveaway A no-show classes.
I'm only surprised Ed Richardson did not announce he was shocked, SHOCKED, to find gambling, errr, academic irregularities going on at Auburn, then direct someone to round up the usual suspects.
Naturally, I had full confidence that Auburn would acquit itself after a thorough and sifting investigation of...itself. Especially when Ears Tuberville confidently announced two weeks ago that he was sure that would be the result, and the whole thing would be wrapped up any day. I guess they had to hold off on the final announcement to make it look good.
It would have been a shame if AU had to relinquish its "People's National Championship" from the 2004 football season (which is barely one step below GTU's Scripps Howard title in 1990).
I guess now they can go back to figuring out how much room they have under next year's salary cap to sign recruits.
While at Auburn University, Coach Tuberville has instilled a "culture of learning". Something that the rest of the SEC has yet to implement.
Culture of learning. Right. Right. I can just see this year's first episode of TT's post game show:
Coach T: "Kenny, we all know you're great on the field, but I'm hearing good things about your performance in the classroom too!"
Kenny: "In the wha... Ouch! Coach that was my foot!"
Culture of learning? Yes, Auburn has reached the top of the cultural mountain. In addition to the many fine sociologists it is now churning out like a Pez dispenser, I'm sure that future Nobel winners in medicine, science, literature, and small gas engine repair are now matriculating on the Plains. No doubt future holders of AU degrees will have to demonstrate proficiency in academics, the culinary arts, and feng shui. At Auburn, you see, it's all about learning.
yeah, I can see that. AU football players are certainly learning how to find the challenging portions of the curriculum. Like, directed reading classes. Because you know that Ears wants them to push themselves academically. What could be more rewarding and challenging than a full credit A for a class you never have to attend?
"Culture" and Auburn are two words that just don't belong in the same sentence. Kind of like "integrity" and Auburn.
Why shouldnt the rest of the SEC trust and respect the people who run the school that leads the NCAA in number of times on probation? Maybe if Ears wasnt so busy touting AU's academic supremacy, he could quit lying about AU being the winningest program in the SEC the last 5 years.
There are two major things wrong with the conclusions of this investigation:
1)Not anyone can take this class. Class enrollment is limited to a certain number of slots and each student is allowed to register based on their level of school. Example senior registers before sophomore. A sophomore attempts to register for this class, but it is full. They have to sign up for a real class and lose the chance of getting the bunny A. The exception to the rule is all athletes get to sign up before any students. Obviously they will fill this class up prior to any regular Auburn students getting enrolled.
2)The larger issue is why it is ok for anyone to take a class like this. I am not saying Auburn should have the same standards/curriculum as Harvard, but come on. It should at least be more difficult than a special education class in elementary school.
What an embarrassment.
Al Capone once declared himself innocent way back in the day. He then started the Greater Chicago Better Business Bureau. That city has never had a scandal since.
yeah, Mayo...AU beat us last year, much to our shame. However, LSU beat AU, and won the west. We then spanked LSU in the SECC. In the final analysis, the fact that you beat us doesnt mean anything more than, say, Tampa Bay beating the Red Sox in the year the Sox won the series. Stuff happens, but it's the OVERALL season record that counts. I can see why you'd like to overlook the fact that UGA has 2 SEC titles and 1 other SECC appearance the last 5 years, as does LSU. Both have been superior overall programs to AU during that time span. You guys are still ahead of Vandy, of course. Lying about how great you are doesnt make it the truth, no matter how many times you sheep over there keep bleating it.
For all you AU people blather about how great your football team is, Tuberville's still the guy who has has ONE season in his life where is team lost less than 4 games. The fact that said season was fueled by players who took full advantage of the directed reading program is just a cruel coincidence, I'm sure.
AU is run by cheating scum, and its fans are generally low on IQ and high on braggadocio. It's a class operation all the way around. Too bad for you that the class is all low.
thanks for playing.
Hey, I just got three Sociology Credits just for responding to this thread.
What's wrong with that?
Somebody read this post to James brooks and see what his opinion is....
Kenny - please post again any time you want.
pwd
Post a Comment