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September 19, 2006

Dad: I know what I want for my birthday is auctioning off two UGA cheerleaders.

"Celebrate your Birthday with the Cheerleaders
Make it a Bulldog Birthday"

From the UGA Auction Site:
The Georgia Cheerleaders and Hairy Dawg would be the perfect addition to your child’s birthday party. This package includes shakers and G face tattoos for everyone, two(2) cheerleaders and Hairy Dawg attending your child’s birthday party.

Due to travel limitations, the party must be within 60 miles of Athens. Also, the appearance time for the cheerleaders and Hairy Dawg would be a maximum of two(2) hours and the party would need to be scheduled at a mutually agreeable date within the next year (October 2, 2006 – October 1, 2007).
Now dad, just to clarify. This is what I've always wanted. Two cheerleaders who want to party. That would be like...The. Best. Gift. Ever.

Also, if you could buy a cake big enough for them both to jump out of. That would be cool. Oh and I don't really need Hairy Dawg there. Nor frankly, do I need 2 hours.

Remember dad. It's not for me. It's for charity.

Your son,

Paul Westerdawg dudes.


ds said...

THAT'S what I'm saying too PW!! Two hard bodied nubile young gals....makes an old man like me perk up a bit, lol.

As for the two hours, dude please...;)

And Hairy Dawg? He can go fetch sammiches for the afterwards lol!

DAve said...

I'm thinking some Erika-Eleniak-in-Under-Siege cake action.

all school said...

So this is what things have come to in the UGA athletic department. We are now, apparently, so desperate to raise cash that the AD is pimping out cheerleaders for parties. Sweet.

I guess this couldnt POSSIBLY be a result of the tone set by our Beloved Leader, Czar Mike. Now that he's just about done ruining the Game Day experience by finding new and exciting ways to turn 100 years of tradition into "profit centers," he and his marketing weasels have found a new and tawdry way to raise cash: trafficking in the flesh of nubile young coeds. BRILLIANT!!!!!

Even though I doubt this plan will raise enough money to pay for another party for the Czar's son, it's really just a marker probe. Assuming this idea is accepted, it's only a matter of time until the Czar and his evil puppetmaster, Don Leebern, manipulate state government and the Legislature into actually allowing the purchase and sale of cheerleaders. Leebern can then officially own his own harem.

This is kind of an embarassment, actually. Is UGA that desperate for cash? Dont the cheerleaders have enough to do, what with practice, studying, rebelling against nutjob "Christian" coaches, and planning skinny dipping, errrr "team bonding" trips? Surely they need a little down time for normal student activities like social clubs, text messaging, and binging and purging?

Plus, they probably dont send girls in pairs; one of them is probably supposed to be a dude. What a buzzkill.

Anonymous said...

I thought allschool was whacked because the post says "it's for cahrity", but when I went to the link, it doesn't say anything about charity. I gotta say, if this is an athletic department fundraiser, it really is pretty creepy. Not sure why I think this, but if it is for some legitimate charity, that's okay.

paulwesterdawg said...

Anon - I was kidding with the charity bit. Sort of.

UGA's athletic department is a non-profit organization. Not a charity.


Anonymous said...

Have you actually seen our cheerleaders lately? If not, watch the CSS replay, phew. All I can say is PLEASE somebody figure out a way to bring back Marilou Braswell.

Liquid Courage said...

PWD- the GAA is the exact opposite of a "non-profit orgazination". In fact, they should change Munson's "two words that define the Bulldog Nation" from "Go Dawgs" to "Mo' Money".

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