"Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for 90 minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every dorm room, sorority room, frat room, weight room, dining room, chemistry lab and DMV in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Tanner Strickland. Go get him. -- Deputy Marshal Samuel GerardScore another point for "Internet Speeds Distribution of Information." David Ching, beat writer for the Columbus-Ledger, reports on his blog that Georgia Bulldog offensive lineman Tanner Strickland allegedly has a warrant out for his arrest from the UGA Police Department.
That's right....the internets and ebays knew about Strickland's upcoming visit to the pokey before he did. And who says the internet is worthless.
Hopefully, he's reading this now and is preparing to jump a cargo plane to Bolivia in search of the one armed man who was the real felon in this case. Wait...I'm kidding. It's not that big a deal.
Scenario / Timeline...
-- Student gains possession of Fake ID
-- Student with Fake ID gets caught up in super secret Fake ID Dragnet
-- Wyatt Earp issues warrant for student(s)
-- Student gets arrested -- hasn't happened yet
-- Richt decides punishment -- TBD
Prediction:As long as he's not the ring leader of the Fake ID distribution program, he'll get 1 game suspension. If he is, then he's got bigger issues. At Tennessee, Fulmer would've gotten the kid advance placement credits for small business and entrepreneurship skills.
If he had Mike Vick's PR Guy, he would just announce that he needed the fake ID to help him rent a car.
PS -- This kid enrolled early. He would've been in high school today if he hadn't fast tracked his graduation. I'd imagine that his parents are probably shitting a chicken right about now. You know how these things get blown out of proportion on the internet (insert guilty blogger's name here). Some friend of the family has probably called the house already saying, "I read on the Internets that there is a massive man hunt for your little boy."
Right about now...I'm glad I have no offspring to get involved in whacky college hi jinx. That said, what this kid needs now is a nickname. If Ian Smith is Tater Salad, should Tanner Strickland be "Dr. Kimble." I'm really open to suggestions here.
I have no idea how Orson will score a pre-arrest Fulmer Cup point.
See Also
-- Hell, he looks 21 to me - AJC
-- Arrest Warrent Issued for Strickland - AJC
-- 3 in Athens charged with Fraud ID Program - AJC
(BTW - I'm on record for having made fun of myself for being arrested for doing dumber things at a much older age. He ain't the first kid with a fake ID, and he won't be the last. It's not that big a deal to me.)PWD
9 comments:
Maxwell (notso)Smart, maybe?
Frank Abagnale Jr. was good with the fake IDs.
i think the dude from Summer School with Mark Harmon who had the fake ID of a black Marine from 1965 (this was a mid-80s movie)could be useful here.
How 'bout "Papagiorgio", from Vegas Vacation fame?
Damn. Breaking out the Summer School reference. Talk about old school.
Their pouring in from Mexico with fake IDs. Wonder what they get--a free ride, naturally.
Good to see that Chief Wiggum (Williamson) and his band of UGAPD's are keeping the streets clear of those fake ID's. Nevermind that you can buy dope on damn near every street corner in Athens.
"What we need (Dog licks peanut butter off finger)....is a woman (Harmon licks peanut butter off same finger)....that understands us.
I just want to know who's playing the Courtney Thorne Thompson role in this scenario.
Other than the fact it was probably a felony, I never understood why Mark Harmon passed her up for Kirstie Alley. I guess that would have been a whole other kind of movie.
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