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November 11, 2008

Auburn Blogger Hates Freedom, Liberty and Puppies


Earlier this week, I posted a note regarding Auburn's Brad Lester and his defiant, screaming claim that the Auburn Tigers would maul Georgia to tiny pieces and poop out our remains like so many undigested bits of walnut candy.

Jerry Hinnen (a known communist and felon*) at the Auburn blog "Joe Cribbs Car Wash" felt that I might have overstated Lester's comments by using the word "prediction" to describe the original quote in question. Hinnen scolded me saying:
"But is [Lester's comment] a prediction, a guarantee, or any kind of promise? No, it is not. If we win, Lester says. We should beat both teams, he claims. If and should do not mean the same thing as when and will. (snip)

Unfortunately, this didn't keep Paul Westerdawg from curiously titling his post in response. (snip)

It's the mainstream media's job to take athletes' quotes and stretch their meanings beyond the breaking point of truth in the exalted holy name of Hype. I suggest you let them handle it."

Well sir, I would like to defend myself. Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.

The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules of journalistic integrity or took liberties with the English language.

We did.

But if a blogger can't make hyperbolic and barely substantiated claims against his rivals while posting in his boxer shorts and drinking bourbon by the fist full, then haven't the terrorists already won?

And furthermore, you can't hold one blog responsible for the collapse of the integrity of the entire blogosphere. Why if you do, shouldn't we also blame the entire Internet?

And if the entire Internet is to blame, then isn't this an indictment of our American society in general?

I put that to you Jerry Hinnen. You can question my blog, but I won't sit here and read your comments bad mouthing the United States of America.

Gentlemen. I'm leaving.

PWD



*Obviously not true.

39 comments:

skidawg1985 said...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/stewart_mandel/11/06/rolle/index.html

Not related, but the story of the FSU player being up for a Rhodes Scholarship is amazing.

1) I hope the game is played late enough for him to make half-time.
2) I hope the NCAA is smart enough to realize it needs to do whatever possible to get him to that game!

Jarred said...

Well played Otter... err Paul

rbubp said...

Did we back down when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Ubiquitous GA Alum said...

If PWD ever goes into politics, we now know the answer to the boxers or briefs question ...

And we also now know the Aubs are commies. I read it on the Internet so it must be true. Dawg Bless Algore.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the Barner.

It's every bit as dense to pretend that the word "should" can't be used predictively as it to say that Lester "guaranteed" the wins.

Now... if Lester had really emphasized the word "should" (which he didn't), the implication would have been clear that he means they have the talent to do it.

Instead, no word was really emphasized, and with the addition of the "by a good number of points" jab, it's pretty clear what he was saying.

Also... there's a fantastic English word which means basically what JCCW is claiming Lester meant. That word is "could."

"Auburn could beat Georgia and Bama by a good number of points!"

He didn't say that, though. He said "should." It's as much a prediction as anything else.

Anonymous said...

I'm still pissed about losing to damn Flawduh...

Anonymous said...

w/ all this talk of Willie Martinez you'd think they didn't hold Florida to 14 pts in the first half while the O scored a whopping 3 pts IN THE ENTIRE GAME.

Anonymous said...

Eff all this. We want the motivation that disrespect brings. An Auburn player provided some. Thanks, we'll take it. Now sod off, auburn blogger.

Andy said...

You got it all wrong guys. Lester wasn't referring to the Dawgs - that was taken out of context. He was talking about UT-Martin.

What he actually said:

“I have no doubt in my mind,” Lester said. “We should beat UT-Martin by a good amount of points. I feel real good about it. Georgia, on the other hand, I'm calling in sick for that one. That Stafford guy is real good.”

A-Phiz said...

I heard Auburn supports terrorism

JG said...

Here's the comment I posted in response to the Auburn blog entry:

http://www.warblogeagle.com/2008/11/english-language-amended-by-blogger.html?showComment=1226453580000#c4708443874663259117

Dante said...

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, PWD.

all sschool said...

oh beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful, for spaaaaaaaaaaaaaacious skies, for amber waaaaves of graaaaaaain....

I just hope you remembered to bring the black bag with you. How's Mrs. Woermer, by the way?

The Dean said...

That was a bad deal. The Dean won't forget it (stares and points at Joe Cribbs Car Wash).

Anonymous said...

Take it easy on the guy, Paul. You're probably ripping on his sociology dissertation.

David Hale said...

My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily.

Hunkering Hank said...

Auburn - it's a zit!!!

Anonymous said...

They (Brad Lester and the rest of the barn) can't say that about our defense. Only we (moderately gruntled UGA fans) can say that about our defense.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you go ahead & notify the local draft board of Mr. Hinnen's immediate availability.....

Dawg19 said...

You better listen to him, Jerry...

He's in pre-med...

S.A.W.B. said...

Mister Hinnen... zero. point. zero.

Anonymous said...

Auburn Fan = Obama lovers!!!!

Gen. Stoopnagle said...

The day an Auburn fan wins an argument over grammar or semantics is the day we all lose. Or win.

The idea that someone is deconstructing press clippings for meaning and that the press clippings are those of an Auburn football player... well, it's a bit much.

Auburn. Hilarious.

Jarred said...

Just heard (a rumor possibly, sounds too good to be true) that Tray Blackmon was kicked off Auburn's team for breaking into UT Martin's locker room and stealing stuff... this is great if true

souletrain said...

"Hey Jerry! Look at my thumb"

Universal Remonster said...

Jerry Hinnen is just jealous because he knows PWD has the bigger cucumber.

kevin said...

I believe this blog is now on double secret probation

S.A.W.B. said...

"Every fall, the trees are filled with toilet paper, every spring, the team implodes..."

"You're talking about Auburn sir..."

"OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT AUBURN, JERRY, YOU TWERP!"

Bob Greasy said...

And to think you scolded in the past for posting numerous times "Jerry Hinnen is a jackass and a douchebag."

Otis Day & The Knights said...

Doug Neidermeyer,
Omega membership chairman:
"Ken, Lonny, l'd like you to meet... Mohammat, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton."

Larry Kroger,
rushee:
"We already met.

Neidermeyer:
"Super! Then you'll have lots to talk about."

OVN said...

Whatever, Lester's an idiot.

Well said, PWD.

Anonymous said...

In honor of Auburn week and our trip to The Plains, I would like to invite everyone to visit my favorite website.

http://auburntigers.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/062805aaa.html

It's a wonderful tribute to a great AU football player. Anytime I am feeling down on myself or just a litle less intelligent I can just take a look at that profile and feel better about myself!

Anonymous said...

"I’ve never been to Europe or Paris."

LOL

Mr. Egger said...

Nice comeback Paul, but would he beat you in a 40 yard sprint?

kevin said...

Thanks so much for that website.
"I play right water"
Forwarding this on to my Auburn Alum Sis

EmotionalFescue said...

"Don't write this down, but I find Hinnen probably as boring as you find Hinnen. Mrs. Hinnen found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible."

Anonymous said...

kenny irons, the class of auburn

Tommy said...

I quite seriously doubt that Lester was parsing the meanings of "should" "will," "if" and "when."

If I'm wrong, I'd love to hear him debate the meaning of "is" with Clinton.

Dawg19 said...

emotionalfescue, that was the winner.

BTW...otis day and the knights...

It was Doug Marmalard who said that...not Niedermayer.

 
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