Dear Gamecock bros,
Sweet jerseys. Thanks for picking this spot by us to tailgate. Yes, I'm familiar with last year and the past three years.
I am impressed with your knowledge of Florida football from 1990-2000. The cool part of living vicariously is you get to pick awesome things that have no causal relationship to your current situation. Be sure to remember your '69 ACC championship, since you keep mentioning how you won your game against the ACC last week.
Let me say that as loud as WillieB stadium is, half of that is pumped in music. Note our crowd and band is the source of sound today, if you make it to the game after that 12 pack of Natty Light.
Finally, please tell your lady friend that no thank you, I'm set on jello shots. Also, I'll happily pay her to keep her shirt on, as I assume she's used to getting money for dancing to Cold Play.
You tailgate neighbor,