Georgia Sports Blog FanShop

November 5, 2013

This is what despair looks like

We, as a fan base, are the McDonalds of bitching. We are consistent in what we complain about. Our complaints are accessible. Yes, we sometime introduce new themes, sometimes of the seasonal variety. They don't really define us as a fan base, but even others recognize our contribution to bitching in various ways. People appreciate UGA fans because they can count on us to be good at what we do, but continually serve shitty bitching up. They expect that and by God we don't disappoint.

However, if you want to see a professional bitcher at his craft? Look no further than Spencer Hall at EDSBS:
The gameday experience is middling, and attendance (like everywhere) is sagging. Media coverage is dismal, thanks to the program's brilliant decision to just make their own news that no one reads, and at worst openly mocks for being the swamp cabbage Pravda of Alachua County. The hype videos are flat, the branding's a mess, and even our font belongs on the side of a malt liquor bottle. (Like, not even a classic like Mickey's, or a reasonably class malt liquor choice like Steel Reserve, but like, the really awful, end-stage alcoholism shit. The kind they find on bodies, not around them.)  Alumni are miserable, and dreaded going to watch this team when they were actually winning, much less now that the depth chart's collapsed and reduced us to being the Pitt of the SEC.
And that is just one of twelve, each one an equal masterpiece of malaise and sardonic self flagellation. If Georgia's fans are McDonalds in their pervasive and ubiquitous bitching. Spencer Hall is Grant Achatz at Alinea, deconstructing bitching and literally creating art with the words and how they are put together.



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