According to Oregon, these unis were not just thrown together by some Nike intern tripping on acid and chronic. No, they were the result of a two year(!) collaborative process involving Nike bigwigs and current & former Oregon players. According to Oregon, "the advanced design and technology of the uniforms will help to diminish the weight of the uniforms by 28 percent when dry and help make them 34 percent lighter under wet condiditions. The jerseys and pants also encompass a diamond-patterned grid on the shoulders and knees, respectively, to improve the durability of the product in areas susceptible to greater wear."
Improve the durability of the product in areas susceptible to greater wear? Oh, horseshit. First, when was the last time you saw your team's football uniform wear out? Second, Phil Knight is an Oregon alum, and I think he would pony up for new pants if they get threadbare during the season. Third, Oregon basically has a pair of pants per game, so I would hope the "advanced design and technology" could last four hours. Just 'fess and admit it: you think faux steel-plating looks cool!
Still, you ask yourself: what the hell were they thinking?? A simple math problem may provide insight.
PLUS
EQUALS
This is the answer to the not-so-hypothetical question 'how hard do you have to try to be the state's primary punchline when your in-state rival is the Beavers?'
Dawnoxious,
Senior Correspondent
Beaver Jokes Division
HT: MZone
