Adieu Perrilloux

Troubled LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux was reportedly dismissed from the LSU football team this morning. What for? Funny you should ask: alleged counterfeiting, using fraudulent identification to gain access to a riverboat casino, a nightclub fight in Baton Rouge where patrons exercised their right to bear arms, hurling obscenities at Middle Eastern looking bar staff, and failing drug tests according to Swindle. You will be missed Sir Perrilloux.

First, the bad news for LSU fans. You've lost a talented athlete who was the heir apparent at quarterback and the reigning SEC Championship Game MVP. You'll have to start an inexperienced youngster for dangerous road games at Auburn and at Florida.

Now the good news. A cancer has been removed from your team with a meat cleaver. Your You're bleeding, but in a much better position than having that tumor mucking things up. While you'll have inexperience at quarterback, you still return a loaded team, especially on the lines. If I were Les Miles, I'd be playing the Jay Barker offense. Run it 80% of the time, throw only when you have to, and let your defense win games for you. If you don't make too many mistakes, you'll win ten games.

Quinton

(Please excuse my crude attempt at Photoshop above. I'd planned on passing these out to LSU fans in Baton Rouge before our game. The image above was my first draft. All that time figuring out the program lost. Damn you, Perrilloux!)

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