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August 7, 2009

Vols Chant Ancient Proverbs for Help from Beyond the Grave

If you thought this was worth a chuckle, allow me to continue to poke UT with a stick for giggles.  The Banner-Herald reports that Kiffin will get former Vols to recite Gen. Neyland's maxims before each game and share what the maxims mean to them and the Big Orange.
This is pretty frightening stuff.  Can you imagine the frenzy created by having Casey Clausen or Jabari Davis reading inspiring football principals from the 1930s?  Then, they say what these ancient rules mean to their lives!  Just thinking about this makes me want to rip my shirt off and chant "WILD BOYZ!".  I can just imagine how it will inspire twenty year old kids. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the maxims, here is a sample:
1. When at the peak of the flying wedge, lead with your noggin and fear not, for your service to humanity through eugenics will not be forgotten.
2. When tackling, pounce on the ballcarrier like a landing gyrocopter and never like a decending dirigible.
3. Oskie, oskie, run, score, run ... these are the keys to triumph, whether over Sewanee or Cumberland.
4. Avoid recruiting Hoovervilles, but if you must, bring cabbages and turnips.

Quake at the power of the seven maxims! 



Dubbayoo said...

You will find me cowering in a darkened closet until kickoff.

Anonymous said...

Preseason Coaches Poll Out:

Cash Calls said...

The point is that Kiffin is embracing UT traditions and their fanbase will love it. Who cares what everyone else thinks?

We would appreciate any coach who did the same for UGA.

dr wagner said...

5. Always wear an onion on your belt.

Paul Westerdawg said...

You couldn't dream up a chant that carries less impact than those 7 maxims.

Only thing I can figure is that Kiffin will just tell the kids, "Before Games, we read Maxim."

As in the magazine.

The Watch Dawg said...

I see what you did there...

Smitty said...

Dr. Wagner that was the style at the time.

Anonymous said...

See, I know this story is bogus because most Vols from the Fulmer glory years not named Manning can't read.

Anonymous said...

He's going to work in fulmer's maxims next. "everything is better with butter, cheese, and bacon." damn solid advice.

Bourbon Dawgwalker said...

Is that Fulmer or Paula Deen's maxim?

RedCrake said...

The 7 Kiffin Maxims:

1) There is only one God, Kiffin, and "The Plan" is his prophet.

2) Any decision made by the Kiffin, whether an onside kick when up by 20 or a bubble screen with :04 left in the game is all part of the plan.

3) An interception is part of the plan as it gives thee an opportunity for the comeback victory.

4) No starting quarterback shall be named...for that is part of the plan.

5) Defensive players shall be touted for the Heisman. Not because there are no notable offensive players, but because it is part of the plan.

6) A loss to any team is part of the plan.

7) Whether by word or deed, everything is part of the plan.

Anonymous said...

I am told the Kiffins painted over the Seven Maxims of Fulmer:

1. The coach that makes the most mistakes will never accept the blame.

2. Play for and make the breaks and when one comes your way - stab your predecessor in the back.

3. If at first the game - or the breaks - go against you, don't let up...order more doughnuts.

4. Protect our kickers, our QB, our lead and our ball game by keeping the ball between the tackles.

5. Ball, oskie, cover, block, cut and slice, pursue and gang tackle off the field...for this is the WINNING EDGE.

6. Press the university and the local authorities. Here is where the breaks are made.

7. Carry the NCAA to our opponent and keep it there for 60 minutes an hour.

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